Saturday, April 09, 2005
yesterday wanted to blog. i had so many things on my mind. so many things to say about. to blabber about. but i waited until 11plus still cannot use blogger. so just went off and decided to blog today. but i would have forget so many things already. nevermind, let me go on about today first before getting onto yesterday. well, today was awoken in the morning at 10am by a call. but i did not receive the call. i just have this habit of not picking up the phone if it disturbed me. lols. then later 11plus my mother came back from market. yeah, this is one of the better saturdays. relaxed. no IPW meetings. no rush for anything. no meetings with my cousins. haven't had this kind of good ol' saturdays for very long. and i liked today. just went to see the friendster astrology thing, and it says i have a good day with most of the people. unlike yesterday and thursday, which i have a bad day with most of the people. and i really feel that this is true. nevermind, say about this later. watched the MTV Mandarin Top 20. lee hom's song was first. then cyndi's honey was second. then the rest all i forgot. but i know got lin jun jie one. long time also never watch that show le. finally can watch. hahax. i think this is the best day i ever had since my brother left for NS. just wondering how he is doing. he never call back one. hahas. hmm. well, after taking my brunch, i went to do my homework. finished most of the homework. i think im only left with art. very satisfied with myself today. i felt relaxed doing the homework. not in the least stressed up. feeling high. but today's not a schoolday. so bad. if not, i think it would be a better day. anyway, i stayed at home today. didn't went out at all. but hasn't got homesick. well. i think that's about all for today. yeah, and i think me and my father's getting better. we are not ignoring each other that much. we are not getting each other into trouble. it was good. had a very good feeling of a good daddy. yay! but there was lots of this flies. and there were 5 in my room. one flew onto my body and kept pestering me until i realised it on my shoulder. i hit it off and smacked it to death. the other 4 were on the light. so i went out of my room and switched off the lights. and there were 5 in the living room too. but now no more. hmm.. sad. my piggy's dead. can't sing anymore. got to cut up it's body to change it's heart so that it can sing for me again. too bad. haven't learnt biology about disecting body parts. lols. and i would not do that to my pig anyway. ok, let's talk about yesterday.
friday - 8th april 2005
hmm. not a very good day. just like thursday. during chinese, we learnt the 'gong han' again. chang horng 'begged' mr. liang for the 'peng you' song. i think he likes the song alot. everytime mr. liang brings his laptop along, chang horng will 'beg' him to play that song. and i was happy i did not slack during lessons. then it was maths. we went on with the graphs. i still don't understand about where to draw the x and y-axes. too confused. and anyway, i think i ought to use my new spectacles. i can't see a single thing on the overhead projector with my old spectacles. and that's probably why i can't concentrate. so bad. then it was geography. hmm.. mrs. lim forgot to bring our test papers. then she actually said we will go for 10am recess. the usual lower secondary recess. and i didn't like it. bad. but later someone sort of saved us from going to the lower secondary recess. kel vin went to our class. then mrs. lim went to get our test papers and passed it to him. then he gave out before mrs. lim instructed him to do so. lols. but after that, mrs. lim called him to give out and he gave it out lahx. lols. then ruimin said she went to kick him with her shoelaces cause he went in so suddenly. hahas. funny. lols. haiz. this time my geography results was so bad. it is a proven fact. can't be changed. and i don't know why i had this heck-care attitude with the test papers. i was so frustrated with my results. i knew it was difficult but i really didn't expect it to be this bad. 31and.a.half! what worse can i expect? that's the worst i've done. so sad. i really regretted not studying for it. even people who usually get lower marks than me beat me. with much more marks. let me see. the previous test i got 40. one of the best in the class. highest was 45 if im not wrong. now i got a 31.and.a.half! one of the worst in the class. excluding those who failed. aww. really done so bad. and when i flipped open the papers, i was really feeling like 'what?!' don't know how she marked the papers. some pages have ticks. some pages have crosses. 1 page have both crosses and ticks. i don't know what she's doing. and i really was pissed off. didn't really bothered to tally up my score. i deserve this score for not revising. then went for recess. then it was Design&Technology. he teached us about nailing. and what the heck. everything's going wrong. i did all the wrong things. and later i realised my piece of work is wasted. i've nailed it the wrong way round. utterly pissed off by this. how worse can this irritating situation with me get? anyway, i think im bound to fail Design&Technology afterall. well, at least most people passed their theory test. while me, i got an E8. depressing. how to change the fact of what's been done? maybe. maybe i can really change it by improving my workpiece. but i just did a wrong step. and i realised i can't do anything else. or put it another way. to at least cover up the fact. i've to get at least a B4 for my workpiece. and after doing all the wrong things, will i ever get a B4. probably yes. in my dreams. so now, see what i mean. i really got a bad day. the test papers. the workpiece. i really got to believe the friendster astrology thing. things weren't working out for me the past 2 days. it's really so bad that i hate it. just when i thought things were getting better, it got worst. so sad. nevermind, it's over. put the past behind us. let the bygones be bygones. don't talk about those saddening things. it was PC. we had to go to the hall. urgh. it's the NKF card again. i hate it. NKF's got a good way to get money from the public. i just wonder if the staffs in NKF ever donated money to the patients. stupid but touching talk. had to raise funds again. i hate it. i don't know why. my family's not willing to donate. relatives are not willing. mother's colleagues are not willing. friends not willing. since they already have a card. no time to ask the public. no door-to-door. old friends not willing. lazy to meet up. maybe i will donate a few bucks. to NKF, i don't think that's enough. i don't even plan to approach my mother this year. last year, i got scolded by her for nothing just cause i approached her with the card. my father didn't wanted to donate. my parents called each other to donate. but none did. begged my brother to donate. afterall, i helped him last time. but he didn't help me afterall. really feel like crying. im so useless afterall. somemore, the exams are nearing. i don't even have the time to go to the public. i feel so sad. why must all this happen? primary school days are still better. i have no troubles. i have nothing on mind. i have no desires. we don't need to raise funds. all we had was fun. those were the times i really enjoyed with my friends. secondary life is tough. im stressed. have lots of problems. lots of troubles. had to raise funds. no fun. all we had is homework. i really hate it. why must life be so tiring? ok after PC i went home. later went out to library. was ok. met up with my parents after that. went for dinner. i ate a plate of fish&chips rice. quite nice although i waited long for it. after that, went back home. yeah, that's about it. for yesterday and today. long post. lolx. hahas. yesterday night qi'en was freaking me out by saying those grossy stuff of the yet to dry up wound on her leg. think her platelets are dying off really fast. hahax. ok. enough long le.
i failed once again @ 7:48:00 pm
