Friday, April 29, 2005
haix. so sianx. these few days like never blog. actually wanted to blog but instead i did other things. hmm. Mr. G's leaving us, either for the better or for the worse. we are getting Mrs Yeo back. perhaps that's great. hmm. this week. we got back alot of things. for the revision of our Mid Year. but today we felt like as if it was term break. but sadly, that's not the case. it's just the beginning. beginning of the exams which are approaching. i think we got back alot of our english assignments on tuesday. im so disheartened, although Mr G told us not to be disheartened by our results. my standard's dropping. far below my expectations. slacking? perhaps. but i can't, MYE's coming. how can i do that at a crucial time like that? first, it was the composition. the one about our dream house. i got 18 for it. i don't know if i should trust Mr G and write an expository essay for the English Paper 1. i haven't really tried doing those kinda essays alone. and i can't possibly take the risk for my Mid Year. the highest i've got for composition so far was only a 21. and then things started getting bad. my english's dropping. i don't wanna fail. i've gotta buck up. Mr G commented that i've got a good, impactful start for my dream house composition. but all the things went wrong after that. that's why i got an 18. haix. i worked so hard. yet things like that happen, is it because i really can't excel? but nothing's impossible so far as i know. i haven't reached the limit. i wanna ace and get good results. i don't want to start regretting after things are done. it serves no purpose. how to revise? write loads of essays? or what? the thing is, i don't have a great vocabulary, and i don't have those kinda creative ideas. it's like i've already wrote the opening paragraph of the essay as he instructed us to. but as i continue writing the other paragraphs in school, i still get a low score. while others who just rushed through the whole essay in school got even higher score than me. it's not that im slacking or what. it's gotta do with my foundation. it makes me sort of so jealous. i think i should read more newspaper articles and know what's the buzz. hmm. im writing an essay now. hahax. anyone can grade this essay for me? lolx. normally, there's nothing wrong with my Paper 2. but the thing i dread is comprehension and summary. and the diagnostic test. i did badly too. and Mr G was a good teacher i guess. except for all those strange things he like to do. yeah, and my science common test was below class average too. i mean i don't expect to get those 30plus score cause i know i don't deserve it. i didn't revise for it at all. but i got below average. haix. so bad. but it's not like we can revise for such things. those are practical tests sort of, except for a few theory. it's kinda testing on logic. sometimes i just don't understand. it's always like this. i study so hard but people copy my things and get better results than me. i don't know if this is fair. or is it because they don't use their brain cells or what. i don't know. it's sort of always like this. before PSLE, we got lots and tons of exercises and practice papers. friends copy my answers, they get higher scores than me. but i get way lower marks. even the last in class. now, it's happening again. MYE. we're getting practice papers. it's just like no fair. we do our best, put in alot of effort, then some people who are just lazing around get hold of our completed papers and copy it. yeah, im not trying to criticise people who copies answers lah. it's like sometimes, we really can't do it. so we copy. yeah, maybe that's okay, provided you understand the answer. but some pathetic ones are just lazing around. haix. sometimes, being a good student isn't easy afterall, although it's really great to see the good results, at times. but it's not good all the time, people ask you for assignments for copying purposes cause they were lazing or they just throw things to you and call you to keep it or they push the whole idea of the groupwork to you, one person alone to complete the whole thing. yeah, i've experienced all these before and it doesn't seem right. i just don't like it. and even when you help them, some are so damn idiotic and they blame you just cause you get things lost or you didn't do things. it's like, not our fault. but we still get blamed. it feels so bad sucky sometimes, but you just gotta bear with it. sometimes, even when i give my assignments to others for copying purposes cause they were lazing, i feel bad too. it's like a test of loyalty together with friendship. i know it's up to them whether they wanna be loyal to themselves, but sometimes it's like im their friend, and i can't stop them from copying blindly. haix. i don't know if these people understand the meaning of homework. it's just like for practise, not for copying. sometimes, it's really not worth to help some people. haix. kaex, let's get on to today. hmm. chinese lesson first. people were calling lianglu to open the MYE 2005 paper for us to see. lolx. would he be so stupid to do so. he went through with us the format and it was 8am. i thought his lesson ended. but he didn't leave, Ms Shyam didn't come. so i checked timetable. yeah, i made a mistake. his lesson ended at 8:30am which was pretty boring. the guys in our class can't play soccer for the time being, until exams are over. maths. we got the answer keys for the 03 paper. and i was struggling to understand the workings of 1 particular algebra question that i was so damn fed up and skipped that question. i tried working out the answer like 4 or 5 times yet i couldn't get it correct. argh! that was like hell man. so suck. and i was so damn fucked up that i just gave big ticks and crosses to relieve my anger. geography. we did the past year exam paper. it was quite ok i guess. i've gotta study hard for my geography. my common test results are 40 and 31.5 lolx. hmm. after that we went for recess. then it was design&technology. we are expected to submit our pieces by this lesson and i finished mine. mine sucks. i guess i won't have good results for design&technology. i used too little acrylic that it looks so plain. actually i was using more. but 1 damn grave mistake. and i had to redo the whole planning. and i trusted Mr Soh with my piece. ohmygod. he just spoilt it for me. thankx alot. he nailed it the wrong side. and he got uneven things for me. that just spoilt everything. we had to run back to class after that as we were already late. so we ran back lah. lols. and we got the NKF card. aww. damnit. i hate it. and now, right just now, a few minutes ago before i was typing this sentence, i just quarelled with my mother. she don't even believe me. the moment she sees me using the net and typing non-stop for my blog. she says that im chatting with strangers on the net. im always so pissed off. whose parents always wrong their child like this? MINE! it sucks. my father, my brother, my mother. practically everyone in the household thinks i does that. when im not even doing it. why must they have this stupid thing in their mind that always never fail to piss me off. haix. it's no use. so what if i let them see what im doing. they are just trying to invade my privacy. they are very very very damn angry that i have privacy. so they are always invading my privacy. they always anyhow say things without thinking. and it hurts alot. it's just like maybe someone just lost something damn important and everyone in the household just blames me. it's like that. this kinda situation. they never get to the bottom of things and they just blame you cause they are like 'bu shuang'. they think it's fun. i think it SUCKS. are they jealous or what? what exactly are they thinking. i think if i were to do those things one day, it's all due to their influence, their mentioning of the idea and making it drift in my mind. i just want them to respect me. don't invade my privacy. is it that difficult? some people whose parents are overseas don't even get to be with their parents everyday. but i have my parents with me almost everyday. but i don't want it. i hate their attitude. i rather they are those who are overseas all the time. i don't even want to cherish the moments i have with them. it only hurts me most. i rather cherish the moments i have with my friends who are way more understanding and better. guess i just say until here. taking my leave =D
i failed once again @ 8:41:00 pm
