Tuesday, May 31, 2005
haix. life sucks. ahh! it seems as if everything's falling apart. my computer just lagged. how many times has it lagged this month? yeah. great. that's how things get worse and worst when you're feeling so damn "great" and then things happen to make you feel even "greater". then my handphone get stuck again. when can i ever get a new one? probably no chance of getting one anyway. then now it's the holidays, all cooped up at home. then i have no allowance. and im not allowed to use the computer. yeah, how "great" things get. i might just as well starve to death, that's better off living anyway. i still have to put up with the seemingly never-ending nagging by my mother. and i have no conducive environment to study once my parents are at home. the volume of the television set is so loud, as if they are half deaf. and my mother spends like 2 or 3 hours per night on the phone. even when the phone is nearer to her than she is to me, she has to speak very loudly too, that i can even hear her in my room. life has already been bad enough for me after the examinations. it's like i've been crying everyday. then now, liang lu told my mother all those really nonsensical stuffs about me which aren't true at all, and now my mother is disciplining me according to what liang lu suggested. isn't it the same as liang lu disciplining me? yeah, that doesn't make a difference. then suddenly, but i don't know why, people around me are getting new phones and stuffs and supposedly, enjoy their june holidays. it's totally different from me. the stuffs i get are only nagging and those moronic stuffs. and it looks like i really have to thank Commonwealth Secondary for planning my school holidays for me. which of the activities im going to do during the june holidays is planned by me? none! absolutely none. all of them are either NYAA stuffs, dental checkups, submission of work, project meetings, and that liang lu's out-of-the-world suggestion. oh great. i have a nicely planned holiday in front of me. and what more, no allowance. and there's nothing in the house for me to cook. maggi noodles? unhealthy. i can't possibly eat it for 30 days. rice? i don't know how to cook only my portion of rice with a rice cooker that's far too big. maybe spread the grains over the rice cooker so that only 1 grain of rice covers the surface. but i don't eat that much rice too. nothing else for me to cook. yeah, does that i mean i shall starve to death. and there's no one at home too. so there's definitely no one to buy me lunch too. and that leaves me with the final option. that is to starve. in fact, i think more allowance should be given to me during the holidays. partly cos the only way for me is to buy lunch for me. and school food is cheaper, so i need more for the food at coffee shops. my parents only want me to study hard. but so what if i study hard? they don't even reward me. they don't even bother about me. to them, work is more important than me. so why should i really care? see, even when i slack, i can also get 10. but that's good enough if they don't care about me. my life is only confined to homework and school. then at home, my mother order me around like a maid. and does this leave me with the time to revise? yeah, even robots would have to rest. im not even a robot, and they make me work like im a robot. then in the morning, even when it's holidays, my mother kept shouting at my ears to call me do things when i'm sleeping. okay, i wouldn't mind if it was after 8plus. but she shouted into my ears at 6plus. i can't even get a minute of rest or peace when my parents are awake and around me. then sometimes i get really vexed. it's like as if i have no privacy or no rights to sleep. when i sleep in my room, they say i have boyfriend. when i sleep with my parents, they say i scared of sleeping alone. so, what is the right thing for me to do? not sleep. ahh! that's great.
i failed once again @ 10:15:00 am
