Sunday, May 29, 2005
ahh! god help me please! or someone. hahas. kaes. nothing is wrong. but im still brooding over that 477.5/700. oh god. how worst more can it get? now i don't even wish to get back my report books next term. yeah, cause my percentage keeps dropping and it never rises. like the stocks that keep dropping, who would wanna buy it. ahh! someone help me with my subjects please. i regret so much. i should have done better for my science and geography. now, it's like all my fault. ahh! the design & technology, geography and art marks are finalised for the year. and how am i gonna make changes to it. i have no chance to improve in those subjects. ahh! at least for geography next year. well, i don't know when will i ever start taking things seriously. i've always been letting opportunities slip by and then realise what a fool i was to let go of such good chances. ahh! why am i always like this. i feel so bad and guilty about my results. i shouldn't have come online during the examinations, i should have been studying hard and revising. but, what's the use of knowing it after the examinations? why am i always like this? i just hope i would come to my senses and do all the things i won't regret. sometimes, i just hate myself for being so stupid and dumb and still slacking through. haix. even before i got back the results, i already knew it sucked. but then, why did i go get it? for the sake of knowing my results could suck even more than i expected it to? ahh! i don't know. i don't know anything. i just wanna buck up, pull up my socks, and improve. it's so fascinating to slip 8 places down. and i've definitely learnt a lesson this time round. im not gonna repeat the same mistakes. im not gonna go down the drain. okay, since don't know which of the 2 that is liang lu or my mother said that if i could put all my heart into it and study hard, i could get 1st, then why not i try it out? everything's worth a try, ain't it? yeah, since people think i can do it, i shouldn't let them down. moreover, i should have confidence in myself too. and i should also work hard towards my goal. rather than to slack around then cry at the end of the day, regretting all that i've done and only coming to realise the mistakes i've made when it's already way too late. yeah, so im really gonna study hard, okay, i will try to bear with temptations to use computer or sms-ing or slacking. yeah, im gonna prove it to everyone that i can do it, i don't want to let anyone down. and i wanna be happy at the end of the day. so i promise myself i would study real hard, as in really. and revise through. and read more storybooks. ahh! lols. and complete assignments on time. im not gonna play and slack throughout anymore. im gonna change. change for the better, and i believe i can do it. i will not let down those who are expecting my results. yeah, that's what im gonna do! i can strive. just put in more effort! and im gonna work hard from now on. so what if it's only left with 4 months, there's still around 16 weeks to the year end examinations. and im really gonna study hard within these 16 weeks to satisfy myself with the results i get at the end of the day. i believe i can do it! and i can do it! and now, no one is going to stop me from what im going to do.
kaes, yay! i finished the english flyer. wonderful. eh, but i spent like 1 and a half hours doing it. and i really hope it would help in my year end results. ahh! it's 10. i've gotta go. im not going to slack and play the computer. and yay! tomorrow im going out. to peifang's house to play the table tennis and also to the library to do homework and borrow books. yay! i can do it! =D gotta go. byes.
i failed once again @ 9:44:00 pm
