Monday, June 20, 2005
hmm. today went school to collect ipw file. then lmf was over there blabbering on and on non-stop. saying what our group has done is not sufficient and it's not appropriate and done it the wrong way and blah blah blah. loads of crap. hmm. after that went back. that's about it. went to school just for the files and to hear a very 'da pai' witch speaking. lols. then went back home le. so noisy. renovating works in progress everywhere. so ma fan. haix. then nothing much happened today lah. just crapped and crapped non-stop. school`s reopening. brother just went back to NS today. then what else have i to do? haix. it`s so boring. even before school reopens. how to get on after school reopens. haix. and the xi you ji project also haven't do. haix. i wanna get a mobile plan. but mum and dad doesn't agree. haix. i wanna new phone. i just want colour and camera and bluetooth and maybe mp3 lah. no mp3 then nevermind. but no plan then phone very expensive lah. saw the T630 is like around $248 lah. haix. i don't know lah. life`s just like so bad for me. people all got mp3 or even walkman. have loads of albums. have those good phones. everything also branded. all gizmos and gadgets also have. but me different lah. i get new phone also no use lah. cos if i get hor, i probably only can get those kind 1 or 2 years de liao. whatever. then so what if i don't want all this. then parents keep saying this saying that. saying im stupid. saying im bad. saying im naughty. nagging all the time. always wanna fight. things are so different. different that sometimes i hope im just a small kid, 3 or 4 years old, satisfied with a small dumb doll. now it's all so different. i've grown. i've realised much more things. i'm not easily satisfied with a small little doll anyhow. i want stuffs. stuffs like handphones, mp3s, whatever.. but my parents just won't understand. i also don't know why. then see people have mp3, handphone, albums, whatever. they don't need pay for it. but everything i want i also need to pay for it. my cousin's like way better than me, but too bad she doesn't realise it. and she goes off using her money to take loads of neoprints which her mother took and threw away. haix.. but at least her mother treats her nicely and rewards her with things she want often. unlike mine. and my mother doesn't understand me at all. she buys all the childish stuffs for me. things which are disgusting, and childish - but to her, it's nice. she don't understand me. so we always end up quareling. shouting at each other. and she orders me about all the time. don't reward me with stuffs i want. haix. perhaps she still thinks im a small lil kid. satisfied with everything i have right now. but she doesn't know what i feel. haix. LIFE SUCKS! when will life ever turn for the better for me?
i failed once again @ 7:43:00 pm
