Friday, October 28, 2005
the last day of school. and it`ll be holidays. i guess we`re all gonna miss 2/5. after 2 years, most of us are going to different classes. didn`t post yesterday cos i was so damn tired. start with yesterday.
assembly in hall. and went to computer lab for our EBiz challenge. thought it was some role-playing game or what.. hahas~ or something like that, with many characters. but it ain`t. it was some stupid game. probably had to do with econs. and i didn`t like the game at all, neither did i know what`s it about. the computer lab was so damn cold. after that, went for recess. and went back to lab. continued with the game. ain`t fun at all. we`re talking about what streams to choose. we ended before 1pm, so we went back to class. we`re too noisy. so teachers came in. did the survey. and after a while, went for lunch. most of us were like so unsure of what to choose. and i guess i`m the only one who hasn`t shown my parents my results. i was so indecisive then. really didn`t know what to choose. at a lost. after that, peifang wanted to call her father and ask him about opinions for streaming. and she wasn`t sure whether to call or not. so i told her to call and ask for opinions. went to the phone and amanda was using, probably talking with her father about streaming too. then i was like so jealous or guilty. i didn`t know. why do they have father whom they can rely on, and can ask them for help or opinions? and i only have a father who`s working 7 days a week and we hardly spend time together. let alone talk. after peifang finished using, we went up to lab. asked her if i should ask my mum for opinions. she said yes. but i wasn`t sure if there was time left. went to lab anyway. wanted to borrow phone from others. but then, suddenly they all came in and everyone was there. so i was too late. then, i was so confused, so mixed up. didn`t know what to choose. was hoping i could go to the toilet and call my mother for opinions or at least tell her my choices before i make the decision. but there just wasn`t any chance to do so. and mr elfie started to say things. started with those simple things. and as he went on, it became more and more serious things about streaming. and i really wanted to cry. for once, i wanted so much to tell my mother about my choices. i regret not deciding with her. i couldn`t hold on. tears start forming in my eyes. but i fought back the tears. i`ve never thought that streaming could be this bad for me. if only my mother hasn`t said all those disheartening stuffs, i would`ve shown her my results and asked for her opinions, maybe even considering seriously. but it didn`t happen at all. i didn`t want to show her my report book b`cos i no longer find the comfort, nor did i`ve the courage to tell her. i really tried hard this semester. but i think i couldn`t improve b`cos i got low marks for geography, design & technology and art. those subjects which were half-year. i no longer feel the sense of security when i`m with my parents. my father doesn`t care about me. and my mother laughs at everything, saying i`m so naive. it hurt me so much that i try to avoid telling them marks or whatever that`s got to do with studies. but i didn`t know why, why i suddenly wanted to cry when i was in the lab. in the end, i submitted without telling my mother. and ms shyam came in to say 19 were unsuccessful. i was 1 of them. i thought that i was probably given a chance to tell my mother about it. but again, i repeated that mistake. i did it all with my thoughts. after streaming, i guess many were feeling so happy and high. but i was still feeling the same mixed feelings. so sad. so jealous. so guilty. i really felt so sorry. but it wasn`t until when we took the class photos that i started feeling better. 2/5`s just a wonderful class. i can`t think of how next year is gonna be. how we`re gonna cope in the new environment. how the guys are gonna look like when they wear the long pants. how 2/5-ivers are gonna miss each other or not. how we would all look if we need to wear the new uniform. how we would all cope with our different streams. guess those are 2/5`s last memories. i thought we really have improved alot. in all aspects. i especially like the 2/5 figure we`ve made. though it was raining, but i guess the photos still came out nice. none of us cared about the rain at all, like as if a stupid rain`s gonna break our bond. although the one with us standing up looks more like 2/S, i guess it`s still a good shot. we`ve never been so united before. all the 2/5-ivers, each is different, and the most important thing is, we`re all united. or at least we`ve telepathy. it`s a special and unique experience for me with 1/5`04 and 2/5`05.
so about today. went to school. on the way, saw a dead frog. damn disgusting. with the internal organs or intestines at its mouth. yucks! and it looks so much like it`s skinned. then we did survey. and went to class. went see mr ah-choo for NYAA things. and he just flipped through my NYAA book and say i can go. duhs -.- lame. then after a while, went to hall. can`t really remember what we did. oh yeah, mrs teo was talking about those crap. about those achievements. dreadful. a school year ends this way and starts this way too. then it was choosing the new uniform. A sucks. it was either B or C. C is very simple. B is a little more than C. i chose B. then it was like recess. we didn`t go for it. instead, the performers got the props ready and rehearsed. we`re really bonded. then we went to the gallery. the last time for this year. i`m gonna miss sitting in the gallery. and then after the 5 min of fame, there was deepavali celebrations and prizes given out. though we didn`t manage to clinch any prizes, i still think that our class have performed well. after that, they announced the selected design for the new uniform. i was so damn surprised that mdm aishah said A. then it was just that she wanted to say how much votes each had. A had only 35. B had 500plus and C had 400plus. so B was chosen.
so that`s about it. another one of my long posts. cyas~
[missing 2/5]
i failed once again @ 3:40:00 pm
