Saturday, October 22, 2005
today didn`t do much at home. woke up and played hyper relay. it`s not that fun like gunbound or maple, or are they considered fun? hahas.. but it tests our reaction. so i just played it. then ate lunch. after that, brother used computer. so i watched Drink.Drank.Drunk with my mother. not nice one. so slept. until 4plus. then wait until 5pm. watched the channel U show. don`t know what`s the english name. until 7pm. half watching and half mopping floor. then 7pm went to eat. eat le then read newspapers. and half watching channel U news too. until like around 8pm then parents came back. then 8:30pm when my brother finally finished bathing, i went to bathe. then after that, came online loh. practically the day. whee! tomorrow taking bus 52. hahas~ i`m so excited cos it passes by NP and i can finally see how NP is and know where it is.
but i don`t know i should go poly or jc next time. blehs~
right now, i guess i can`t think so far ahead. it`s better for nature to take its own course. currently so damn bothered with streaming. don`t even wanna get back my results slip for this year. i know it`s gonna be bad. it`s so exaggerating to drop from 2nd to 10th. it`s sheer crap. i guess i`ll just be happy if i can manage to be even in the top 5 in class. can`t think so much. it all just sucks! haix.. triple-science or bio-chem? i have no idea. what ever with getting back our science results. why must my physics be the best among the 3? i hated it so much. should i take chem with physics instead? i don`t know anything. everything ain`t going right. haven`t told my parents about my marks yet. i just felt like it`s me studying. no point telling them. and i don`t wanna let em choose the stream for me. i don`t wanna study for their sake. it`s me studying. not em. i can`t make another mistake. i`ve already committed a great mistake by letting em choose my secondary school option. and i won`t ever repeat this mistake. i badly want triple-science. i`m willing to really study hard for it. but i don`t think i can make it into the class. everything is different now. i can`t make a choice. it`s just THAT difficult. or if i choose to go other classes, i`ll just continue being a hardworking slacker. i don`t know what to do.
another week. and i guess 2/5`s gonna split up. two-fivers entering different class. after 2 years, we`re breaking. just a cruel reality. no one can accept it. but everyone needs to face it. i just feel 2/5 is a class with very strong perseverance. although we`re noisy, we still produce results at the end of the day. for this EOY, we ain`t last for maths already. no one failed history. lowest was C5. i guess that`s a 2/5 achievement. and during sports day, although it was a bad start like as if there was a curse, we didn`t blame people. instead we were more concerned for others than the competition. yet, in the end, we still manage to get some winners. we`re people who aren`t disheartened easily. and i love the fact that we always manage to get away from punishments scot-free as a class.
whee~ next monday`s superfunkies will feature weichoong and derrick! i`ll not miss it. hahas~ definitely gonna watch weijian`s performance.
just now while sleeping in the afternoon, had a strange dream. dreamt that mrs yeo was seeing me personally. as what she had said about for the essay. does it signals bad? haix. i don`t know.
do i have any dreams to fulfil? i don`t wanna live for the sake of others anymore. i wanna fulfil my wishes. but i`m so saddened to see each opportunity pass by and each dream die off. is a miracle just possible? i always tell others to be optimistic. but now here i am, being so pessimistic. haix~
anyway, this is a long post in such a long time. and it`s all b`cos of streaming. that leads me to writing this. i don`t know what to do.
i failed once again @ 9:28:00 pm
