Monday, March 27, 2006
so far, came back home done nothing constructive.
today and tomorrow. slack days at school.
this afternoon was like eerie lah..
went to 7-11 buy stuffs. `cos $5 can get disney badge.
i was hoping for the simba one. but no luck yet.
stupidly, both of us got the cinderella one. YUCK!
then went back school. i smuggled maggi mee in.
LOL! then i felt real strange. raining. sky a bit dark.
then school was like seriously damn quiet.
i was having that eerie feeling.. seriously.
different from reaching school at 6.30am or camp feeling.
it was more like sneaking into school feeling.
but then, that feeling disappeared when i heard chang horng shouting...
today i felt totally different. not myself lah..
but at first, it was like empty spaces in class.
then the thing with kokila coming in for english.
cos she got the timetable wrong, all mixed up.
then she stretched her lesson into english.
when i started losing interest in summary.
and began taking out my book to read after dreaming.
recess and back to class.
got maths. she teach logarithms. sian-er than usual.
assembly. so few people..
all the absence of those people really sort of dampened my spirits.
plus the rain.. something just seemed to be missing but i can`t locate it.
well, though the 2 behind me were really lame. but i just couldn`t laugh.
then think about it.
tomorrow`s gonna be even worse lah..
like almost half the class gone to esplanade by 8am.
then the rest of us. will be restless lah..
plus the fact that we`ll have to do our own work.
i rather the teachers were here to teach.
it`s gonna be like damn slack and sian..
and it`s like half the day free period.
then more than half the class gone.
seriously, tomorrow will be hell for me lah..
though there`s still the lame ashley..
but then, no lessons no jokes no laming.
HAIX.. then i think maybe wednesday we`ll change seats.
but then, wednesday 9am start school.
no PE! still, i not so happy lah..
like all these things happening.
on wednesday, it`s either super high or super sian.
then afternoon don`t know got remedial or not...
but thursday start. we`re all gonna return to those busy days.
all remedials again. CCA. no early dismissal.
to those sian days.. i can`t imagine all these are actually happening.
all of us hope the public performance will be a success lah..
haix.. but all these things happening.. really hell for me.
i somehow pity those performers. their hard work. effort.
everything they put in. all those late nights for them..
also, not only we`re back to those normal busy days.
but cme will now be taught by ruth ng.
which will be like super duper sian..
and last year artclub, help her with so much stuffs.
then that day she asked if i`m a new member..
haix.. and the art club tee. $11 after subsidise $5.
rather acceptable price. but then if you see the shirt.... OMG!
haix.. today wasn`t a good day.
all those performers away.
then tomorrow... aww. all i hope is lianglu not here.
it`s enough. anyway, sounds like i hate language so much.
but then, the teachers we get are all so nasty and mean lah..
think this year`s gonna be over like fast.
haixx.. and think of it.. it`s gonna be o levels next year.
then the teachers would come in and tell us that during the start of school.
like what they told us this year too..
oh yeah.. noticed that there`re quite some concerts held in april.
LOL! my birthmonth. -.- but then... don`t think it`s gonna be pleasant.
with all these things happening. i don`t get things right.
and mid-year exam. then meet-the-parents.
i know my mother doesn`t want to go lah..
but then she don`t go, i don`t get results.
and she most likely would go on saturday..
i don`t wanna a repeat of last year stuffs.
like lianglu telling her all the bad stuffs of me.
then show my evaluation form to her.
was like so what lah..
i thought he do for fun. cos he can`t read english very well.
so all wrote crap, and he showed my mother.
also, so far, my results are not very good lah..
especially for combined humanities. i can`t say i put alot of effort in it.
but i really do give a try no matter what.. then it`s still pointless cos they see nothing.
and english. latimer was really nasty and mean at the beginning.
and no matter what she does now, i just can`t change my impression of her.
even other teachers have said that she`s really tough... not that i don`t wanna learn.
but i just feel she`s too hard on us. and her crap lessons nowadays..
while people laugh, i feel she is just too eager to tell us all her stories.
haix.. sometimes, i really hope they can experience what we`re going thru.
all the teachers and adults put things so easily. as easy as ABC..
but i feel that actually, the ones who understand us are very very few.
maybe.. maybe it`s all this stress and pressure that i`ve lost my old lame and cheerful self.
the crazy and noisy me and in primary school who had no pressure at all and could get so good results. everything`s different. i prefer peace now. like think... how many people knows that i`ve a lame side too? who has seen my lame side? the amount is very very little compared to primary school. and by the time we graduate.. i don`t know what`s gonna happen.. what would i be like? well.. but no one certainly knows.. there`s actually like maybe less than 5 people in this world who truly understands me. or perhaps, no one even understands me.
i failed once again @ 9:07:00 pm
