Saturday, April 29, 2006
i feel so sad lah. i really wanna cry. i`m still thinking about my summary. i know it`s of no use. but i just can`t get over it. SUMMARY! 25 marks! i feel so stupid. when ms latimer came, she probably saw me doing the plan. but i don`t know how to explain if she asks me that. i feel like i`m breaking down. i need someone to console me. but i know, any teachers or my parents would just scold. and friends? it just work for awhile. and once i don`t see them or feel them, i get sad again. haix.. i don`t understand why this must happen in an examination. i can`t imagine this year`s meet-the-parents session. what if lianglu goes on shooting off too much again? i just need someone to console me badly. before my mood affects my other papers too. i`ve thought through so much. and i realised the importance of english. i`ve been failing all my english this year. and now this has to happen at such a crucial time.. WHY? no one wanted this to happen.
and after reading ruimin`s blog, i feel like our teachers are so different from their teachers. or same teachers but treat us differently. she can come up with teachers who are so great and talk so much about how caring they are. but the only times i`ve felt touched by any teacher was by ms kokila. when she saw my improvement in my combined humanities common test. i just felt so touched at that moment. other than that, small-scales one, it`s when ms kokila came up personally after lesson to gave me the ferrero rocher for my birthday and hinted me to get A1 for my combined humanities, and the time when i asked mr g for help with the economics assignment, and he went through so much, spent so much time, and didn`t even show any impatience when i asked him to repeat again because i was distracted, and before he even started explaining, he sorta talked about secondary 3 life and how it would be and told me not to be so stressed or sad or depressed. i guess that was all. only thrice, the most.
and before examinations, their teachers like treat them with stuffs, encouraged them etc. ours? i can`t remember much teachers wishing us good luck even though we have 1 more teacher than them. to me, i feel that ms kokila is the only one who sincerely cares about us all. she doesn`t treat us differently just because we`re triple humanities. i know she has high expectations from us, but she doesn`t keep harping on that and she at least encourages us. and she doesn`t scold me at all when i told her i don`t even know anything from the history textbook. she is like so forgiving person. she just wants us to try our best.
then mdm quek is also quite good. she doesn`t mind me finding her for so many questions. and she always try very hard to explain and makes sure we understand what she`s talking about.
and? i can`t think of much. all the rest of our teachers... i know they`re mostly those kinda experienced types. and all they expect from us is good grades. just because we`re the first official triple humanities class in singapore. i don`t know. sometimes, i feel that the teachers only do their jobs of teaching us and they don`t show us concern at all. and actually, i`m really very happy that ms kokila doesn`t actually treat like different from how she treats other classes, and the concern she shows for us. especially so when she`s one of our humanities subject teacher and she doesn`t harp on it and she doesn`t scold us for underperforming and even though she would expect good grades from us, she do encourage us too.
then mdm ros.. i still can`t say much about her yet. she probably has pre- and post- natal blues and i can`t just judge her like that. it`s a bit unfair to her. and we`ve spent like less than 3 months with her so far.
then mr g. he may seem to be nice. but sometimes, he`s actually evil. he`s like those kind of people who is so secretive. he acts and gives excuses then he`s like actually planning some evil things like that. and he`s like ... i don`t know what he means when he say he can`t return the assignment and went off with his evil trademark laughter all the way till the staffroom. if it`s that those things not tested in examination, it`s probably okay. but then, why would he teach and then not tested?
then lianglu. he`s just like.. OMG! nightmare. he doesn`t even care about normal lessons at all. he only wants to teach us what he feels like teaching. haix.. and he didn`t even tell us when`s the oral. 10 or 11. it`s as good as not asking him.
latimer is actually not bad. but sometimes, it can actually get bad if she`s in a bad mood. and i really feel like telling her i didn`t complete my summary before she sees my rubbish. i don`t know what her reaction would be. the day before, i went to look for her for the notes, then the day after, i`m just gonna let her down. she may just blow her top off, i know it...
mrs loh. she does help us. but she`s like.. too strict? and i don`t see any kind of sincere concern from her before to any of us.
ms liao. she`s still okay. it`s like she sometimes care, but sometimes, she doesn`t really too much.
mdm quek. yeah, she`s not bad lah. she really does try alot to make us understand.
it`s just like.. our teachers.. their teachers.. it can only be ours.. it can only be theirs. they can never be the same. haix.. i really feel so upset with this.
and today, went to library. supposed to revise for geography.
but ended up didn`t do much. no matter what, i`m gonna really memorise.
because i realise, i`m just plain lazy. i don`t like memorising, that`s where i lose out.
see the maths stuff and chemistry and physics, i`m fairly better in those subjects as compared to other. and it`s because i`m lazy to memorise the facts.
it`s not that i can`t. i`ve done it before. i`m just plain lazy.
BUT, i really will work hard for that A1 for combined humanities.
as for geography, all i ask for is at least a B.
and tomorrow.
don`t know what to do.
i don`t feel like staying at home.
i can`t study at home.
and my parents. they don`t even care or bother.
and it`s just so GREAT!
someone, either my mum or my dad, bought another 2 goldfish.
and the whole day, they were looking at them.
it`s like gonna be last time lah..
i`m like so near them. but they didn`t notice me.
WHY? cos they`re more concerned with the fish.
my english summary...!
i failed once again @ 7:40:00 pm
