Friday, June 30, 2006
okay. i`m super pissed right now!
and today, was like super sweating day for me.
first, G wasn`t here today.
and that makes us get 2h of free periods.
then later, liao didn`t come for lessons.
so another half an hour.
and we could have already gone up at 1pm.
as i left the class at almost 1:30pm, i saw liao having consultation with another girl outside the staffroom. super crap lah! how more irresponsible can she be? she`s supposed to be having lessons with us, not having consultation with someone else. if that`s the case, what`s a bloody timetable for? or even if she doesn`t want to teach us, she can pass a message right... rather than making us stay for half an hour just to wait for HER HIGHNESS' invisible appearance.
and school has already reopened for 1 week. but i`m still in holiday mood. it`s not that i`m not interested in the lessons, but frankly speaking, we`ve only got maths lessons so far. don`t talk about chinese, he`s always talking his own stuffs whether it was last semester or now. english, we did nothing. lessons were all wrecked, or we only did corrections, nothing learnt. combined humanities, watched 5 clips for social studies and 1 slideshow on history. chemistry, calculation of equation or whatever. physics, NOTHING learnt! geography, NOTHING learnt! economics, NOTHING learnt! like what the heck, no progress for 1 week already. and when will we ever start learning then?
now, our lessons end at 1:30pm on friday. thanks to that reading period on wednesdays. like things aren`t already bad enough for us. then it`s like most of the time, those last lessons on friday, the lessons aren`t even lessons. either the teachers have absolutely no interest to teach, are already busy with something else, or we`re late for classes or it`s just students shouting all over the class. and i would really wanna question what`s the extra lessons on friday for then? even some of the teachers want to dismiss us early... there`s absolutely no point for that lesson. if the school really thinks it`s important, i rather we end lessons at 2:30pm everyday except for 12:30pm on fridays. it isn`t like we`re having alot of lessons time as compared to other classes.
so, i think i`m stupid.
i ain`t learn much yet.
because most of the teachers are still on hiatus mode.
and, the new timetable is shitty.
our 2 lab lessons are on the same day.
how marvellous is it!
and again, we`ll be missing another lesson for geography.
it isn`t like we`re ahead of the other classes, instead, i believe we`re lagging far back for most of the subjects. now, i hope 'slow and steady really wins the race.'
i failed once again @ 2:26:00 pm
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
school`s getting hell-ish.
but i`m still liking it, somehow.
and i`m really determined to do my work.
also, i`m not leaving much things in school.
only barron`s[completed] and dictionary.
feel like i`m liking school already.
i seriously gonna go thru weathering!
what the heck is it all about...
really regret sleeping in teo`s lessons.
but i feel G teach already i don`t understand.
don`t know what crap he`s talking.
and i really can`t stand today`s lessons.
was totally bored during G`s lessons.
like geography, then economics.
super boring lah.
and latimer isn`t so bad afterall.
just give her what she wants, and it`s okay.
at least i do think so.
it`s confirmed she lives in my estate...
saw her there quite a few times already.
plus she introduced her mother to me just now.
=.=
today was a super tiring day.
during reading period, i was like dozing off.
then physics, i bear, i endure. CME.. i slept.
maths, i lied on table.
geography, i stayed awake, but super boring.
haix.. got another physics practical test again.
and what the heck lah. the previous test not counted.
>.<>
and i`m so happy i didn`t fail it.
well.. just a short paragraph.. not meant to offend anyone.
because in our class forum, people said wanna work hard. but seems to me that only a small handful are really working hard. i realise, today, during G`s lesson, around half the class wasn`t listening to him at all, and instead doing some other work like maths remedial worksheet or english. i know they wanna do work, but do at the appropriate times, please? then, it was more evident during latimer`s lesson. more than half the class didn`t bring her stuffs, and some were still laughing away. during CME, less than 5 pathetic souls had their CME 3B workbooks with them. and the sad thing is, this is only based on today. and you people still talk about working hard, bucking up, getting all those As you wanted so much? i think it`s a shame lah. also, i know it may be impossible to complete the Barrons. but is copying answers any better? people only think of getting away with her punishments, but not think about they themselves. and i realise, the only few lessons when the class would remain silent, be it sleeping or listening, is in maths and english. other lessons, the teachers would have to stop for people to keep quiet. i think it`s so naive. do you think that As can fall from the sky? seriously, the attitude is totally wrong. and with the new seating arrangement, it might be worse. i don`t know what`s it all about. but i`m really ashame of our class... that`s what i can only say.
i failed once again @ 7:07:00 pm
school`s getting hell-ish.
but i`m still liking it, somehow.
and i`m really determined to do my work.
also, i`m not leaving much things in school.
only barron`s[completed] and dictionary.
feel like i`m liking school already.
i seriously gonna go thru weathering!
what the heck is it all about...
really regret sleeping in teo`s lessons.
but i feel G teach already i don`t understand.
don`t know what crap he`s talking.
and i really can`t stand today`s lessons.
was totally bored during G`s lessons.
like geography, then economics.
super boring lah.
and latimer isn`t so bad afterall.
just give her what she wants, and it`s okay.
at least i do think so.
it`s confirmed she lives in my estate...
saw her there quite a few times already.
plus she introduced her mother to me just now.
=.=
today was a super tiring day.
during reading period, i was like dozing off.
then physics, i bear, i endure.
CME.. i slept. maths, i lied on table.
geography, i stayed awake, but super boring.
haix.. got another physics practical test again.
and what the heck lah. the previous test not counted.
>.<>lah. suan le! hard work does pay off one!
and i`m so happy i didn`t fail it.
well.. just a short paragraph.. not meant to offend anyone.
because in our class forum, people said wanna work hard. but seems to me that only a small handful are really working hard. i realise, today, during G`s lesson, around half the class wasn`t listening to him at all, and instead doing some other work like maths remedial worksheet or english. i know they wanna do work, but do at the appropriate times, please? then, it was more evident during latimer`s lesson. more than half the class didn`t bring her stuffs, and some were still laughing away. during CME, less than 5 pathetic souls had their CME 3B workbooks with them. and the sad thing is, this is only based on today. and you people still talk about working hard, bucking up, getting all those As you wanted so much? i think it`s a shame lah. also, i know it may be impossible to complete the Barrons. but is copying answers any better? people only think of getting away with her punishments, but not think about they themselves. and i realise, the only few lessons when the class would remain silent, be it sleeping or listening, is in maths and english. other lessons, the teachers would have to stop for people to keep quiet. i think it`s so naive. do you think that As can fall from the sky? seriously, the attitude is totally wrong. and with the new seating arrangement, it might be worse. i don`t know what`s it all about. but i`m really ashame of our class... that`s what i can only say.
i failed once again @ 6:31:00 pm
Monday, June 26, 2006
school`s finally reopened.
i still feel kinda strange.
to me, holidays or not, both are same.
小时候我总会这样牵着你的手
只是盼望能够在你的身边守候
为了保护你不小心割破手指头
这个小伤却让你泪流心痛
长大后我们越来越远
分隔地球的两边
何时才能够见面
熟悉微笑的脸
回忆起我们小时候
闭上眼就能够感受
在我们心中慢慢流动的温柔
离开了我们小时候
现在你会不会想我
也许你找到一个人为你守候
我了了
回忆起我们小时后
闭上眼就能够感受
站在窗前跟你说了晚安就走
离开了我们小时候
现在的你不在想我
这个时候我了了
what a nice song with meaningful lyrics.
haix.. later gotta do geography tys.
today i felt strange.
like saw ros at parade square.
i suddenly got scared.
never do her work, never pay attention etc.
was like thinking of so many things.
but luckily, i think she not our geography teacher anymore.
sorta sad with this news lah.
thought she promised to come back teach us after holidays?
then i realised she was a very good teacher.
get the meaning? i didn`t treasure her before.
and LL`s lesson was kinda ... i hate it!
like we`re supposed to say what happened to us during the holidays.
who ever told him to announce to the class that i was hiding from him?
it`s like MY story lah.
actually, many things happened, which i could share.
but then i know he`s sure got a lot to comment on.
so i made a wise decision to say nothing happened.
haix... and i really hate him!
like what the heck! he said during meet-the-parents session, he was helping us put in good words. oh.. funny lah! what the heck did he say? he only added oil to fire.
my life would have been a better one.. and more complete.
assembly was boring. and i was super hungry.
i only like a bit of the skit. not the story though.
so happy lah! i was like... still got new characters? got any other characters?
tomorrow art club.
and i bet no lunch lah.
last lesson will most probably be dragged.
she`s [really invisible]
i failed once again @ 8:07:00 pm
Sunday, June 25, 2006
i`m seriously damn suay.
now, there`s a bruise on my right knee.
like what the heck...
i got it from slipping down at home, plus it was right before i enter my room.
yeah, some brainy peeps decided to wet the entrance of my room.
and make me slipped down, and get a bruise.
in total, there`s like 5 scratches + 1 bruise.
ridiculous thing is that nothing serious happened to me.
it`s only small little things and i got them all.
>.<
and yeah.. now G says don`t need to do J3.
like crap. i stayed till late last night to complete.
then it`s like i asked him explain so many times.
but he didn`t ever say don`t need to do.
now then he tells someone don`t need to do.
super last minute type lah. >.<
one day before school reopen only!
right now, bia-ing my english news articles.
then later need go popular purchase some stuffs.
whatever, i feel i`m so so dead right now.
cos others are making me realise the importance of doing the maths tys and heymath exercises.
when i already have a whole load of incomplete homework.
and somemore, they make me realise it yesterday and today.
which is like before school reopens. how to expect me to do?
yesterday stayed up till like 4plus.
digging for news articles for english, economics and chemistry.
and and.. i found a lot for chemistry! =]
but it`s like all dated back.. those march issues.
now i know why there are so many stacks of newspapers at home.
i need 7 more articles for economics to keep on track.
and 10 more articles for english to keep on track.
oh whatever. i shall just take some from chemistry.
to kill one bird with two stones... easy task!
haix.. then today woke up at 8plus.
oh yeah, bet i`ll be leading another of this cycle for tonight too.
the worse thing is that i`ve yet to even start on geography tys and english resource bank.
people`s homework pile seems to be decreasing.
but mine is increasing. i hope no one comes to tell me like there`s even more surprise homework at 11:59pm today.
oh well.
tomorrow still got english common test.
it`s letter writing. but.. latimer`s just made me confuse with different formats she give lah.
1 type of letter, got different formats, which to follow?
AHH! someone kill me please..
how i wish i can be like my parents..
sleeping away right now. plus they turned in earlier and woke up later than me!
>.<
who`s not bia-ing his/her work now?
i feel like bashing anyone who says yes.
cos [wo liao le.]
someone enlighten me on how to bia all my homework in less than 24h!
oh.. now i can save money.
i don`t need to buy dictionary.
i`ll kop my brother`s one.
HAHA! my mother gave me permission.
i seriously gotta bia!
i failed once again @ 3:25:00 pm
Saturday, June 24, 2006
seriously so fed up with the IE already.
what`s broadband when it gets disconnected every few seconds?
that`s even worst than dial-up.
when school reopens, i think i won`t come online so often.
1, i wanna really do well already. don`t wanna regret.
2, no point spending at least half an hour everyday just to wait for my IE to settle.
3, i don`t have much time actually.
today went JE again.
met my mother there for lunch.
after that, shopped around.
went popular. actually wanted buy dictionary.
then realise i didn`t bring the 20% voucher.
>.<
so in the end, decided not to buy anything yet.
felt kinda strange.
the first time i saw so many people whom i know when i`m outside.
got secondary and primary schools ones.
like everywhere i go, i see another one.
actually, yesterday i blogged at night.
but my darn computer went blank on me.
so there goes my post, but nevermind.
since yesterday was a malu day.
wouldn`t want others to know also.
how i wish i could get my hands on an Apple MacBook.
dream on! would i ever get such stuffs?
see... there`s actually no point for me coming online.
first, i don`t play any kinda games.
second, my computer`s not working properly.
third, it takes about half an hour for my IE to settle.
fourth, i only come online to chat, check, or blog.
fifth, i don`t have the time to do so.
school`s reopening soon.
still no idea what to wear.
perhaps just half u, if i`m lazy.
LOL!
haix..
[think my thoughts are wandering too far off.. i just hope.....]
i failed once again @ 3:22:00 pm
Friday, June 23, 2006
finally completed barron`s till week 30.
but there`s still like 16 more weeks, plus some more misc tests, and the final review test to go.
><>
i also finally completed 1 economics journal.
oh yes, after so so so long.
halfway thru my 2nd journal already.
hopefully i can finish the 3 by today.
still loads of chinese exercises for me.
right now, i think i`m only at unit 11.
trying hard not to copy answers.
a maths ws is like more or less done.
i really suck at coordinate geommetry.
think i`m only left with a few questions i`m unsure of.
should be able to complete it today too.
e maths ws is like quarterway through.
many many questions i didn`t know.
so kinda difficult for me to complete it.
but hope i`ll concentrate and try hard enough.
haven`t done my geography tys yet.
actually, i think i`m able to do it.
but i`m just too lazy to think of the answers.
copying wholesale from other books.
okay, shall try to complete it today too.
english resource bank.
i think i should be able to breeze through it.
since we only need to identify phrases and their connotations.
sounds kinda easy. but there`s many articles in it.
hopefully can compile the list by end of school holidays.
BUT.. i don`t have sept 2005 issue.
and that`s like gonna kill me, probably.
think i`m in need of a new dictionary.
shouldn`t be getting oxford anymore.
i like my brother`s collins one.
the only turn-off is that it`s super thick and bulky.
plus the pages are like real flimsy.
i don`t know which to consider yet.
hopefully can get a good one at a cheap price.
shall shop for it sometime before school reopens.
and maybe for some pens too, oh.. plus cute stationeries.
><>
did it rain throughout the night?
before i slept last night, it was drizzling.
i woke up, the clouds kinda dark.
or will it rain again later? O.0
hmm.. now i start to understand the lyrics of some songs.
cos now, i finally like can feel it, how it`s like...
so.. songs make much more sense than they used to before.
and i`m starting to like more and more songs.
but still stuck with chinese songs. not yet moving to english.
now, i getta know why the lyrics are written in particular ways.
and it makes me enjoy the song much more than before.
but also, there`s some songs with stupid lyrics that absolutely makes no sense to me.
oh oh. anyway i should be getting ready.
45 mins preparation time before i get to school.
and i still gotta bathe, though i`m already extremely cold now.
also gotta pack my stuffs. think i`ll end up carrying 2 or 3 books.
those stupid library books are so thick.
and i`ve got no other choice than to return today.
cos it`s due 23 June 2006! well well..
i don`t wanna be late again, as in for school, and also for library books.
so fast.
today`s like the last weekday of the school holidays.
and we`re going back to school soon!
but hey, isn`t it like we`re going back everyday?
at least that`s the case for me.
that`s probably the reason why i ain`t getting to my homework.
haha. later going out.
hope i can find that pair of slippers.
but also not sure whether can buy or not.
just bought the pink one not long ago.
nevermind.. see how much it costs first.
and i do sound so confident of being able to find it yeah...
and my preparation time starts...
now!
time to get ready for another memorable[?] day at school.
i failed once again @ 8:27:00 am
Thursday, June 22, 2006
okays, back from physics remedial.
actually, it isn`t so bad.
it`s just homework, with supervision.
and i do hate life like that.
i`ve earned myself another scar on my leg.
now, there`s 4 in my collection.
just now, completed physics work earlier, so left earlier.
walked around but nothing much. quite noisy too.
then i decided to go home, since there`s nothing else to do.
it`s like everytime we go out school, there`s 1 stage we need to pass de.
either the security guard there or the bigger gate, meant for cars.
[think i shouldn`t refer to him as 'gerald'.]
okay. so i was walking.
and the security guard, peter, waved to me.
instead of waving back, i chose to say 'bye'.
as i got nearer to him, he asked 'ei girl, you no ECA?'
then i said 'hmm.. have.'
anyway i type out the conversation lah.
Peter: Ei girl, you no ECA?
Me: hmm.. have.
Peter: What's your ECA?
Me [laughing]: art club.
Peter [with a surprised look]: orh. i see you tall tall, i thought you should join NPCC.
Me: no lah. hen ma fan.
Peter: hui ma fan meh? girl, you see ah, at your age, you should exercise more. join NPCC or NCC. it's better. next time when you're old like me, you don't have the stamina. around 30 to 40, you don't have the stamina to exercise so much. you see like me, now i can only go swimming. i don't have stamina.
Me: hmm.. yah.
Peter: oh you now sec 4?
Me: no. sec 3 only.
Peter: oh. then nevermind. next year you got GCE O Levels, so you better concentrate on studies first. whatever it is, studying is important. you must study hard. i very regret you know. now i can only be security guard. i regret. if i had studied harder, i'll already be in the office right now, instead of being here. yah.. so must study hard, then next time can find jobs, right?
Me: yah.. hmm.. i will.
Peter: ei girl, i really mean it. it's only because i treat you as my daughter that's why i tell you this. i've been through all this, that's why i know. that's only why i advise you. so now, you can study, better study hard.
Me: oh okay. yah.
Peter: hmm.. yah ok lah..
Me: orh. byebye.
Peter: bye. sorry hor, wo gen ni jiang hua zhe me jiu.
Me: orh orh.. bu yong jin. byebye.
Peter: bye.
a bit kongbu.
everyday, you say hi and bye to someone.
then that person tells you he treats you as his daughter...
somemore he was like quite serious.
at first i keep smiling, then he continued nagging.
i stopped smiling, then he stop nagging.
it`s like he see my face, must be serious enough, then he knows i actually take what he says to heart, only then he talk other stuffs.
then that day... he call me to help him bring someone to the dental.
GRR! i think he recognizes me.. out of the hundreds of many other students too.
but actually what he said does make sense.
just that he shouldn`t have added the part about 'treat you as my daughter.'
hmm...
actually, i think it used to be a joke.
but, who says it can`t be my goal?
people have wild dreams, their aspirations.
maybe.. maybe the joke is now my goal.
i know i can work towards it.
if i really want it, i`ll get it no matter what.
i failed once again @ 3:37:00 pm
i just realised a few things.
first, i`m taking too much photos of stairs. wellwell... i think some just appealed to me so much i couldn`t help taking it. eventually, i start putting them as my display picture on MSN and makes it seem like i love stairs to that overwhelming extent. anyway, all my display pictures on MSN are taken in school. and i must say most are taken by me, or all are taken with my camera. so again to clarify, i`m not a stairs-lover.
second, sometimes when i`m away on MSN for more than 1 hour, don`t bother about my status. you can just MSN me, cos majority of the time, due to my stml illness, i keep forgetting to reset the status everytime i get back to the computer. but please don`t MSN me if i say things like 'someone else is using computer' in my personal message unless your message is meant for that someone else, then i wouldn`t stop you. and also, if i`m away for less than 30 minutes, please don`t MSN me yet, cos i take around half an hour to be back most of the time. so remember, if i appear away for too long, just ignore my status. but if my status is busy, which is very unlikely but possible, please don`t come MSN me for i`ll probably be doing something serious and important.
third, i`ve been caught by ms liao thrice for 3 different things. one, to tuck in shirt. and she`s like so [...], need to see front and back all tuck in properly. plus the ridiculous thing was i`m approaching the toilet where i wanna change into uniform already, and she come and make me tuck it in again, checking both the front and back. two, using handphone outside staffroom. and she was like following me to my hiding place to see me talk on the phone or hang up the phone? three, caught for all the appearance of illegal stuffs in 4/2 in this case which refers to listening to MP3 player and sweet wrappers. so afterall, i`m not a guai kia. and don`t be like so surprised if i SMS others in class or tuck out shirt or eat in class lah. there`s like nothing wrong with me doing it right. being quiet surely doesn`t mean i`m a guai kia. to let others know, actually sometimes i don`t do work too, like i`ve got away scot-free from kokila and G before. so the advice is, do the most important ones like english and maths, those you know that the teachers will scold... no point bia-ing homework of those teachers who are not fierce and end up not doing homework of those teachers who are fierce. you`re just inviting trouble for yourself. oh yes, maths homework ain`t so important, written work is more important. but still, nowadays, the submission dates are always late. [haha, i better not say anything about geography. it`s up to you whether you wanna do it or not since ros is back. of course i hope people will do her work so i have ease collecting them. but this is too idealistic that i don`t think such things actually happen.]
already been eating my noodles for more than an hour.
and i`m still nowhere near finishing yet!
pray i won`t be late for physics remedial.
i hate it starting at 12pm. it`s like bu san bu si timing.
somemore it`s until 3pm.
that`s why i`m eating now so i won`t need to eat lunch.
oh yes. another thing is that i like ms ker too. don`t know why i suddenly say this but it just came to my mind. she`s such a good teacher. i`ve absolutely no idea why people are going around like badmouthing her about how she scolds and nags. it`s her job, okay! those people might as well go round saying things like 'wahlao! all ms/mr/mdm [xxx] does is only teach, super boring leh.' but hey, it`s just their job. get this thru to your brain before you go complaining about someone else doing his/her job properly again. sad that ms ker ain`t teaching secondary 3 history, but kokila quite good anyway. i still remembered asking ms ker if she would be teaching secondary 3s history last year, but she said she was not sure. well, in the end, she didn`t. another area she specialises in is art, but why can`t she replace ruth ng? i seriously hope she can replace her. or at least for art club, or it`s gonna really die someday. everyone`s a slacker. the reason why we`re called art club is cos we`re gonna do arts and explore arts, and absolutely not cos we`re going to the art studio for free aircon every tuesday. also, i hate to see people join art club only because it is a very slack club, i want people with passion to join. or anyone who really wants to learn. not someone who comes asking me to mark attendance for you! first, i`m not the one marking the attendance so no point asking me. second, i really feel like reporting that person. whatever it is, i`m a person of integrity. and again, being quiet doesn`t mean i can be easily pushed or bullied. don`t ever come to me giving stupid excuses for your CCA attendance. it`s kinda irritating that you act pitiful, trying to gain my sympathy. actually, i`m not so happy with a few people but nevermind. if this kinda thing ever happens again, i think i may be mean. i just can`t stand this kinda attitude. and i`m actually waiting for some people or slackers to be kicked out of the club. well, i`m a slacker. but at least, i do something. i turn up for meetings. i didn`t help in the banner, but at least i did take photos. okay.. kinda sad actually that i don`t see or talk to ms ker so often.
yes yes. anyway, i should be rushing for physics.
i failed once again @ 10:20:00 am
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
okay, now i get it.
bus journeys make me wanna sleep.
well, at least i suppose so.
if you`re kind enough, please sponsor me with a taxi ride next time.
that`ll do it all. HAHA! =]
today was like kinda zZzZzZz...
i was deciding where to have lunch, then this guy came up to us.
and started promoting his pizza, calling us to eat free pizzas.
BLAH! he was like kinda pesky, keep forcing us.
in the end, i keep rejecting. i know how to say 'no.'
hmm.. 2nd time i say rejected things this month.
after lunch, while waiting, i walked around.
ended up at Goldheart jewellery there.
looked at those stuffs, trying to spot something.
then the salesman said 'three-two-o-six.. what`s that?'
for a moment, i ignored him until i realised he was reading my shirt.
and i just automatically went 'class' and continued looking.
later, the salesman said 'three-two-o-six. i gonna buy 4D.'
LOL! then his female colleague was like laughing at him.
well well.. kinda lame i know.
completed my e maths textbk graphs.
that`s kind of a good thing for me.
but the sad thing is, there`s loads more to be completed.
it`s time i get down to them 1 by 1, i guess.
time seriously flies, at the speed of lightning.
it`s already half the year passed.
what the heck...
my mother told me i was joking about physics remedial because i shouldn`t be going for it since my physics is so super good.
hey! it looks like she`s the joker instead.
not a good timing to get broke.
especially when it`s the GSS period.
okay, i`m not a shopaholic..
BUT.. who doesn`t wanna get things at cheaper prices?
i think i`m spending too much on food.
though i only cover my own lunch...
which always ends up being fastfood. haix
and today, i survived on chicken.
i just realised.. no breakfast.
lunch was popcorn chicken.
dinner was chicken rice.
><
start cracking!
i failed once again @ 10:37:00 pm
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
don`t know why.
but i`m like super tired now.
oh yes. 3rd post of the day and i didn`t notice.
haix.. sorta pitiful?
waited and waited for hours in vain.
oh yes.
in the end, i`ll be going back like almost everyday this week again.
when can i ever take a break?
right now, i just wanna bia finish all my homework.
i know it`s possible. but i just can`t sit still to do it.
hmm... it`s meant to be a joke.
but why am i saying it`s my goal now?
do i really want it?
is that what i am striving so hard for?
feel like it`s stupid, afterall...
a joke is not same as a goal.
**********
i was really super tired last night.
and i don`t know why too.
blogged halfway only and went sleep.
so those are actually posted yesterday.
except for the green fonts.. i added in today.
now.. feeling uncomfortable.
i`m not sick.. but i feel like i`m.
or maybe i`m gonna be sick soon.
currently having minor cough only.
and i`m already feeling lazy all over.
perhaps i`m just way too exhausted.
IE having problems again.
not in the mood to update G virus statistics now...
i`m so dead.
haven`t done what i was supposed to for chemistry project.
later still gotta go school for social studies project.
haix.. i suddenly feel like i can`t take it anymore.
going school 75% of the holidays.
then somemore it`s like stay for 5h at least de.
i`m so tired of this life le.
i`m starting to wonder...
do all teenagers go thru this stage?
where you feel so lonely.. no one by your side.
no one you can trust. being in a broken family.
nowhere you feel comfortable.
no one you can talk to. being alone.
feeling so bad.. like you just wanna give up.
feeling so lost.. cos you ain`t got a goal.
did our parents go thru this?
did our teachers go thru this?
or are we the only ones?
gotta start taking care of my throat now.
=x
i failed once again @ 11:15:00 pm
woke up super late today.
rained in morning again.
BUT... haix.
it`s fine, anyway school`s reopening soon.
had nothing to do.
but later, i gonna bia!
seriously need to complete maybe at least half of the stack lah.
i`m such a slacker.
really wanna do well le.
cos now, i know what i want.
it may be unrealistic, but i believe that i can do it.
i just need to strive hard, put in more effort.
and i was wondering...
why was the set of rules we students are obeying called school rules?
if it was school rules, i suppose staffs should also follow the rules, whichever may apply to them.
but it seems like, only students need to follow it.
and it`s all so unfair.. [oh well. is there any fairness in this world?]
i think it should be changed to student rules.
haven`t seen any teachers following those rules, and therefore, i think it doesn`t deserve to be called school rules, because then, it would make it look like teachers do follow the rules too.
another thing...
why wasn`t singlish promoted?
like you see, french speak french, japaneses speak japanese, koreans speak korean etc.
i`m for it to make singlish our national language.
don`t you feel sad that english is the national language of england, chinese is the national language of china, malay is the national language of malaysia etc. ?
enough of blabbering.
gotta go bathe soon.
if not late again!
HAHA!
hope can find tables, but highly impossible.
unless i carry my own one there.
><
maybe it`ll rain again later...
who knows?
afterall, it`s the rainy season.
i failed once again @ 11:04:00 am
3 scars on my leg.
i shouldn`t use computer too much.
cos my very intelligent brother decided to plug in mouse in the ports in front, which means the cover is lifted. and every now and then, as i move about, my leg just scratch the cover and there, it adds another scar.
well.. well..
no idea what to wear on be yourself day yet.
maybe should just wear half uniform.
easiest way out...
haix.. so fast school reopen.
planning to bia homework tomorrow.
hope i`ll really bia.
i haven`t did all that i wanted during this holiday yet.
so must bia.. then can enjoy.
(:
HAHA!
into the future...
i`ve something i wanna work towards to.
a dream, or a goal, or just a mission?
it`s kinda unrealistic.
but well... no one ever knows.
at least not until the future is here.
i failed once again @ 12:36:00 am
Monday, June 19, 2006
hm.. i was super late today.
then people harping on me lah!
anyway, i was kinda surprised.
at home, packing my bag.
then someone called and it was ms liao le.
so in the end, i packed bag and bathed and dried my hair.
which resulted in me being late for it.
which then led to people harping on it.
GRR! haha. but my fault afterall.
reached school then i was sweating.
went to find her.
suddenly felt vibration. it was her calling lor.
and it was super zhun like that.
the moment i picked the phone, she hung the phone.
GRR! so it became missed call..
so had to walk all the way to staffroom to call her lor.
then my couz called me, and there wasn`t any teachers around.
but after i said hello, ms liao came out lah.
GRR! and i quickly went to hide behind chemistry lab there.
but ms liao said jingwei ah, don`t need hide lah, i saw it already.
by then i already hung up the phone and was halfway dropping my phone into my pocket.
then she continued saying whoa. outside staffroom leh!
GRR! like she never call us while we were in school before meh?
hmm.. yeah. so she stayed with us till almost 1pm.
then go 3/2 bah i think.
in the end, it was like 4plus then she came back again.
then she hurried and say she gotta go.
so not all questions were answered lah..
and somemore, made us wait so long leh.
HMPH! then she say school reopen le then find her.
after she left, i suddenly remembered she haven`t upload the slides yet.
GRR! me and my short term memory.
now need to wait till school reopen then can remind her lor.
don`t need redo chemistry notebook liao lah!
AHH! but she also short term memory enough to forget.
so we left at 4plus, cos we scared later locked up again.
that`s gonna be a super stupid thing lah.
went out of school. then mrs yip purposely stopped her car to call us tuck in shirt properly.
like DUH! showing off her so antique car.
then now i`m home le.
kinda bored and sad lor.
haix.. and she call us school reopen find her, but most of the time, she`s already left before our remedials end lah.
a few more days school reopen.
so fast.
alot homework never do yet.
need to bia on one fine day.
and all our skits failed lah.
1st time, weren`t crappy enough.
2nd time, more crappy le, but too late.
GRR!
today`s post got alot of GRR-ing.
i failed once again @ 6:20:00 pm
Sunday, June 18, 2006
back again to post more, as i`ve promised.
so here goes...
a bit of the language i`ve picked up:
of course, i can`t type it out properly..
only can type out the pronounciation.
ca phe - coffee.
pho - their famous beef noodle.
ge meng - thank you.
ji niu ding - how much is it? [cost price]
bay - boarding(?)
cha da - ice tea
now, here comes some photos.
some interesting food.
1. the 'standing' fish.
2. the big brown ball known as 'konglongdan'.
3. rice is in the blue flowery china.
process of entering a super small tunnel.
vehicles going in different directions, playing a game of seeing who can go nearest to another vehicle without crashing?
didn`t manage to take photos of any motorcycle with 4 people on it..
well.. but it can be seen there.
anyway, that photo above has 1 motorcycle with goods.
yeah, quite common sight there too.
this picture somehow reminds me of the hotel in sydney, boulevard hotel.
but as i took out the photos to compare, i found it was more or less different.
the above one is taken in vietnam.
the one below is boulevard hotel, sydney.
i think it`s the windows. HAHA!
illusions, i suppose.
the sampan which almost capsized, with me in it.
oh yes! and there`re lots of guards in green uniform who helps tourists cross the roads. LOL! reminds me of china. every tourist attraction in the city, you`ll see those people...
the adults all say that the present vietnam was just like singapore, 20 to 30 years back.
i didn`t consume any chicken in vietnam. HAHA! now then i realise...
we survived on can drinks, packet drinks and mineral water brought over from singapore during the previous days.
overall, i conclude that this trip was only okay okay...
so far, australia`s still the best, but expenses are a bit too high...
and vietnam`s too dangerous. =x
i failed once again @ 8:47:00 pm
okay.
first time i reach home so early after a flight.
well, cause this time round, it`s a morning one.
BUT unfortunately, i didn`t get the window seat, so i couldn`t catch a glimpse of the bird eye`s view of singapore in the day... where normally i`d always be at the window seat but those are night flights when i can`t see anything clearly like the pilots can.
let`s start with the first day.
15 june 2006.
first day of journey. all set with packed luggages, ready for our journey. somehow, it seemed a better idea to use a lousy china brand luggage than a reliable polo brand luggage to my brainy father. it didn`t bother him that half the zips and 1 of the wheels were spoilt.
reached changi airport and decided to go for lunch at staff canteen.
yesyes. even before checking-in for flight, our luggage broke.
but my determined father decided he was strong enough and he didn`t need the thing for pulling.
so, i blogged at T1, right before boarding the plane.
it was vietnam airlines, airbus A321 type i think.
good window seat i got. busy throughout the flight.
either looking at the scenery, or eating.
yes. the air stewardess asked me what drink i wanted.
and i said milk. then the reply was milk? what`s milk? oh fresh milk!
well.. then i saw on the drink cartons, FRESH apple juice, FRESH orange juice.
i think next time i better add FRESH in front lest i get something stale.
reached there. it was the old type.
those types where you walk down the stairs and take a bus.
we did everything and only got to check-in hotel at 5plus sg time.
all were hungry and so we anyhow settled in a decent-looking restaurant.
the meal, consisting of 5 simple dishes for 7 person came up to an astonishing USD72.
super expensive + food wasn`t in the least delicious.
free day, so we shopped and walked around.
went back to hotel earlier to bathe and sleep.
or just recharge for next day`s journey.
16 june 2006
went to the cu chi tunnel.
quite a nice and enriching experience.
i love boardwalks, but it wasn`t.
we got a chance to crawl the tunnel.
super small and super damn dark, i mean it.
i went less than 5m and decided to get back.
to think the whole tunnel was 30m long.
after that, went back to hochiminh for buffet lunch.
wide variety of food available, and it was quite yummy.
followed on with a city tour, and some shopping.
after which, it was dinner, quite sumptuous one, but everyone was full already.
didn`t finish the food. went back to hotel to put our stuffs and went shopping again.
when everyone was tired enough, we went back to hotel.
7 seater taxi. LOL! first time i see lah...
17 june 2006
woke up early in the morning.
breakfast in hotel. had some tough competition for food with the taiwanese and chinese, in this case i`m referring to those from china.
my mother told me to toast the baguette... and i asked her do you still remember what happened in australia? and she went laughing.
HAHA! just a piece of interesting information, some kinds of bread, when put into the toaster, can cause fires which could jolly well burn down the whole place. so be careful next time.
after that, went out to shop awhile and smuggled durians into hotel.
finished it and went down.
it so happened the tour guide just came.
and he kept saying we`re so so damn punctual.
HAHA! i guess other people must be so unhappy.
2h journey to mekong river. another fun time there.
i love the boat journeys. where at one part, i almost fell into the sea with the help of my mother who almost capsized the whole sampan boat. it so happened that those boats are easy to capsize and we had to get in one by one. my mother got in first, sat down and followed by me getting in. as the boat was rocking, i couldn`t move about inside yet and so stood. after which, my very intelligent mother decided she should stand up to probably do a headcount? so 2 people standing, with 1 very rough one... therefore, it was highly possible to capsize the sampan.
around 15 minutes on the sampan and then transfer to those kinda boats.
had fun walking from 1 boat to the other.
another boat ride back to the land.
went to a temple, then for lunch.
i like the dish called konglongdan.
of course, it wasn`t real dinosaurs egg.
after lunch, it was 2h journey back to hochiminh again.
also followed by some city tour and dinner.
then again, back to hotel and went for shopping.
last night of shopping. my mother exchanged USD50 worth of vietnam dong for the shopping she was looking forward to.
but.. everything went quite badly.
and we didn`t buy anything at all. like WOW! that`s the first time.
what happened was that...
we`re all tired and concluded there wasn`t much to buy, so we decided to flag a taxi back to hotel, all 7 of us.
due to the fact it was night time, we`re all tired and trying to spot a vacant 7 seater taxi, plus the fact we are foreigners and we`re all at a crowded place, all of us were caught being not caution. and THAT, led to the fact that my mother almost got robbed by some money hungry vietnam idiots.
what happened was...
we were at the road junction, all 7 desperately spotting a vacant 7-seater taxi in the dark. suddenly, i heard a loud shrilling high-pitched aiyo! from the direction of my mother. all of us turned over to look and all i could see was that she was lying on the road, rushing to get up and away from the city`s never-ending traffic. and i mean, she was lying on the road, where vehicles could just well run over her. i think you should know what just took place. if you ain`t got any idea yet, it`s highly impossible for someone to trip over something and shout and lie right in the road even though my mother`s one who always doesn`t walk properly.
in this case, she was a target of those vietnam idiots, like i`ve mentioned before. and previously, 7 of us were together while some bargained for fruits. it was probably at this moment where those vietnam idiots spotted my mother and targetted her. then as we went to flag for taxi at the roadside, these vietnam idiots caught us off caution and decided to rob my mother. but as i`ve said before that they`re just vietnam idiots, they of course didn`t make a successful attempt at it. but still, these vietnam idiots made my mother injured. well well... there goes the story of vietnam idiots. in the end, my mother got bruises on her hands and legs and also scratches. stupid vietnam idiots! and it was lucky escape for my mother. she was lying on the road, and if you haven`t know, vietnam`s full of traffic flow.. fortunately for her, there wasn`t any other vehicles behind the motorcycle the vietnam idiots were on. and as i`ve mentioned that they`re vietnam idiots, they just gave up and let off my mother`s bag, therefore my mother wasn`t dragged away by those vietnam idiots. damn those uncivilised vietnam idiots!
18 june 2006
again, breakfast then off to airport.
we had this Mercedez-Benz fetch us there.
like WOW! then again.. plane.
but there was a rain, and our flight delayed 20 minutes.
all of us thought because we`re at 2nd floor, we`re probably walking thru those lanes to the plane. but NO! we were the unfortunate ones taking the bus and climb up the stairs to the plane while others had those thingy. GRR!
this time round, the plane was slightly bigger.
if i`m not wrong, it`s a Boeing 767.
but no window seat, and i was sad.
i love window seats! HAHA!
vietnam airlines service is quite good afterall.
LOL! then so funny..
during landing, the cabins were shaking and vibrating non-stop.
then those people were all looking at the cabins, like terrified that the cabins would give way.
couldn`t help laughing. well, i just can`t control it cos i`m like sorta used to this kinda sights?
and yes finally! HOME SWEET HOME!
tomorrow...
1 more day only!
shall upload some photos later.
gotta get a relaxing bath at home first!
i failed once again @ 5:09:00 pm
Thursday, June 15, 2006
LOL!
currently using free internet access at T1.
already checked in.
gonna board plane soon.
so BYE...
i`ll be back on sunday 18 june.
i failed once again @ 1:37:00 pm
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
oh yes.
for those who still don`t know, i`m off tomorrow.
flight`s scheduled at 2:30pm.
but for some reasons known only to the adults, we all will meet at 11am at the airport.
means i can`t wake up late.
and anyway, the flight`s no. is VN740.
i won`t be back till sunday evening, perhaps.
i failed once again @ 11:03:00 pm
wow! 4 days never blog.
and tomorrow i`ll be leaving.
so soon, so fast.
only be back on sunday.
i can`t say much...
cos i only know i`ve gotta reach airport by 11am tomorrow.
though the flight`s not so early.
and i`ll be back in singapore on 18 june around 6plus.
><>
so i really can`t say much!
yes! it`s 5 more days.
HAPPY but scared.
today gonna be quite busy.
going english remedial at 11:45am.
after that, will be doing project.
then need come home, and pack my stuffs.
GREAT! i`ve got a pile of undone work.
well.. seriously speaking, what have i even finished?
a maths half done, e maths quarter done...
i took 2 full days just to do 2 chemistry concept maps.
what the heck!
will it rain today?
looks quite bright & sunny day.
so, i doubt it will.
a very important thing to say.
i think my IE`s caught something like the G virus.
don`t know what`s that... but`s it`s irritating.
yeah, if your IE has that virus, it`ll be sensitive to G.
whenever G gives assignments and you wanna do it, your IE will just breakdown for no reason.
so people, please do safeguard your IE against this virus.
my IE has already been affected by this virus twice, it`s hopeless.
below are some statistics:
Peak Season of G virus - school holidays
Creator of G virus - Mr. G [this isn`t important]
First G virus attack - 2006 March school holidays on Jing Wei`s IE connection [don`t ask for IP]
G virus attacks (to date) - 2 times
and...
i change name le.
listen to my new name...
JING WEI AR
nice?
not official yet.
but people calling me that name.
so i change name for their convenience.
(:
i`m so thoughtful yeah?
i failed once again @ 10:07:00 am
Saturday, June 10, 2006
“雨过之后更难忘记”“你不用在意流泪也只想刚好合意
我早已经待在谷底
我知道不能再留住你
也知道不能没有孤寂
感激你让我拥有缺点的美丽
看着那白色的蜻蜓
在空中忘了前进
还能不能重新编织
脑海中起毛球的记忆”
“可能雨也不会停
黑色毛衣
藏在那里
就让回忆永远停在那里”
- from 黑色毛衣 by 周杰伦
“乌云在我们心里刻下一块阴影
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
清晰透明就像美丽的风景
总在回忆里才看的清”
“我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过”
“北风掠过想你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶
却换不回熟悉的那张脸”
- from 枫 by 周杰伦
kinda super bored now.
it`s again me alone at home.
mum went to malaysia le.
or so i think.
dad`s at work anyway.
brother`s back in camp.
haix.. this house just have no life in it.
as a kid, i used to be scolded by mum whenever my brother pushes the blame to me.
and my mother doesn`t trust me like around 90% of the time.
every promise she made, ends up breaking my fragile heart.
it`s been long since i wanted to escape this kinda life.
this family is as well as dead.
haix.. i hate people who gamble.
any form of gambling.
but it`s acceptable to me if you play poker cards but not betting any stakes.
at first, there`s this tortoise sculpture on a piece of 4D thingy.
then i realise, there`s another one now.
don`t know why adults like gambling so much.
i don`t wanna be influenced by them.
that`s why i chose to hate people who gamble.
even now, my brother is probably betting.
i see him going to some singapore pools website every now and then.
feel like i can trust no one in this family.
no one i can talk to.
everytime i show my mother something, she scolds me for interrupting her television show. or if not, she`d be busy talking on the phone and come ask me what`s the thing after so long. everytime i wanna talk to her, she seems to be so 'busy'. sometimes when we`re out, i talk to her. about things that happen. like that day, i told her 'i got a lift from my teacher.' her reaction was just 'oh. lianglu ah?' it`s like stupid. i don`t feel like talking to her. more of making me sad by talking to her. then yesterday i told her 'we`re trapped in school just now.' and her reaction was '3 ge ben dan zai yi qi.' others have so much to talk, but we have nothing. the worst example was during secondary 2 streaming. can still remember how i felt, just so lost and helpless and tearing away. i haven`t heard of anyone crying when they were indicating their choices. people called their parents for advice. and i stood there, with a strong urge to call, but i dare not. i didn`t ever dreamt of entering this class anyway. and because of this, i chose to believe... the school is better than my family.
then my father. we don`t talk at all. we act like strangers. yesterday at bus stop, yes it was really him. i think he chose to walk the other way instead of right infront of me. he walked quite slow. 2nd time this year that i`ve seen him but we just ignored each other. and that time, we bumped into each other and no choice, walked home together. i was carrying a stack of books and he carrying nothing. he didn`t even offer to help at all. and what he did was like walk so damn fast i had problems catching up. haix...
i thought my brother was good to me. he used to cook and buy meals for me. but ever since he entered NS, he`s different. i`m always the one at fault and i always have to give in to him instead of him giving in to me. last time, i used to ask him so many questions about my schoolwork. now, i rather leave blanks than to ask anyone.
but i guess i should be happy already. most people who have this kinda problem, they don`t succeed in their studies. but at least i`m glad i can cope, or maybe i can`t. perhaps it might be the end for me this EOY. i may fail english.
this house.
people say it`s like a maze to get here.
but to me, it isn`t.
i won`t feel lost finding my way here.
but, i feel lost in this unit itself.
more than 50% of the time, i`m alone at home.
more than 50% of the time, we eat our own meals.
we don`t sit around and eat dinner together.
it`s been long since i`ve eaten a home-cooked meal.
maybe people would be wishing for home-cooked meal with whole family.
or even meal at a restaurant with family.
all i wish for is just a meal, prepared by my mother.
i don`t care if i have to eat it alone.
i remember that time.
latimer talked to us about how her life was, how she landed herself in jobs she hated, and how she finally got to do something she had always wanted.
she said everything was because of her family`s support.
it was because her family was there when she needed it.
i don`t know if this day would ever come.
but if it does, where`ll my family be?
i don`t want a repetition.
next year will be my O levels.
i don`t want my parents to be overseas.
i need support from them.
maybe i shouldn`t think that far yet, who knows if i would be able to get thru secondary 3.
actually, i don`t hate examination papers.
i only hate the feeling.
when people want you to do so well, but they don`t give you any moral support.
even when examinations are over, i feel no difference.
others may feel happy, but i feel normal.
i can`t express my happiness to my closed ones.
i don`t communicate with my father.
my brother`s always out.
and my mother enjoys going overseas during my examination period.
i can only keep the so-called happiness in myself till it dies down.
this is my family.
i feel i`m closer with friends than family.
at least they do understand me, or abit.
they do offer to help, and with sincerity.
unlike my father, who doesn`t care about me carrying a heavy bag and lugging a stack of books in my hands and he still continues walking at high speeds empty-handed
i guess the motorcycle made everything even worse.
both of them always go out together, and i`m always alone.
even when i sprained my hand, they didn`t bother.
they told me to take 187 and meet them there myself.
i had to travel on a public transport while they take private transport.
and after my right hand was wrapped, they can still eat happily.
while i struggle to handle the chopsticks, and they hurried me to finish my meals.
and it was already quite late. they da-baoed dinner for my brother.
they told me to bring it home to my brother.
my mother told my father to fetch me home on the motorcycle.
and all he said was 'so troublesome. take bus lah.'
he can`t even help his own daughter at all.
it seems like i`m more of a burden, i`m just more problems.
and they argued. my father was so angry he even said 'i very tired lah. so troublesome. call her ownself go home lah. cannot take bus ah? then i give her money, call her ownself take taxi home lor.'
in the end, my mother gave in to him and told me to take bus home myself.
i don`t know why. am i just a burden? am i even their real daughter at all?
it`s like even a teacher is so friendly enough to give a lift when it was drizzling.
and there were actually other alternatives. like we could have borrowed an umbrella.
but she didn`t bother. she just asked and offered to help.
and we`re just teacher-and-student, plus there were other ways we could have went out.
yet my father couldn`t even offer to help his own daughter.
tradition of the 21st century bay family, i suppose.
PS. if huiting ever reads this post, i think this can make you believe yesterday that guy was my father? i wasn`t joking.
i failed once again @ 12:09:00 pm
Friday, June 09, 2006
shouldn`t have went school so early today.
it`s like... raining. but i just dashed to school.
in the end, waited and waited for so long.
at first didn`t know where to go cos it was raining.
canteen occupied. library outside wet.
so just loiter outside staffroom, trying call G.
in the end, decided go out buy some stuffs.
so went out.
actually rain was like already became light drizzle.
that`s why can go out mah.
yeah, so go and buy and come back school.
on the way back, no idea why, rain started getting bigger and bigger.
so just walked faster and reached school.
water dripping from my hair lah, so just stood at the shelter there.
was like wondering where to go mah.
then i saw her car coming in, and no security guards around.
LOL! she saw me and was like looking lah.
wondered if i should opened gate for her. then she sounded the horn.
and i wanted to go open for her one, but then the rain got bigger.
if it wasn`t raining, i sure open for her.
it`s like i`ve helped other teachers open before already lor.
yeah, so wet wet. decided go toilet try to dry up abit.
and we went staffroom again, wanted call G.
then liao came to ask like why we are here.
tried calling but no one answer so decided go 3/2 since there`s nowhere to go.
we`re like enjoying bah. eating, drinking, listening songs, sms-ing.
then suddenly, someone with strange strange number called.
i was like looking at it. then i see until got 7 numbers.
actually don`t wanna receive, but then peifang called me receive.
yeah, then i was like so shocked but then sad lah.
haix...
3 of us stayed in 3/2 doing work.
then occassionally walk around school.
and also got go call G lah..
it`s like afternoon then finally can get to G lor!
bet he only go school sleep lah..
asked him le, but can`t remember all that he said.
HAHA! and after he explained, i immediately went back class write down all those things he said, and realised i`ve already forgotten most!
so later went out school buy stuffs.
go back school and do work again.
but i ended up crapping.
and the 2 of them did their stuffs.
while i did NOTHING?!
later heard shutters sound.
but none of us bothered.
and after like long, i felt sian.
so i went out alone.
discovered 2 things.
1 - there was like a whole queue of ants from the water pipes there going to 3/3, seriously probably a few thousands of them?
2 - all the shutters are down and we`re trapped.
then it was like no one there.
thought maybe we should call admin office but we didn`t.
and tried to ask for teacher`s numbers from others.
but luckily, we didn`t need to call.
like, i can`t imagine the teacher scolding us.
well, we got help from girl guides lor.
then i think there was like an announcement made?!
in the end, we got saved lah.
LOL! if we weren`t saved, we`d have to camp in school for 3 days 2 nights.
so today...
overall, it was kinda a suay day.
but i didn`t yawn at all lor!
and i was like laughing and laughing.
haix.. 10 more days!
and i`ll be so tired lah.
like off for 4 days and the next day after i back then not free..
but nevermind bah.
it`s OKAY de.
but then, think of 10 more days, it`s kinda sad lor.
i failed once again @ 6:40:00 pm
Thursday, June 08, 2006
haix..
last week, everyday was so bright and sunny.
this week, since tuesday, it`s been raining.
the rain gets heavier and heavier. and we`re stuck. we can go nowhere but only remain. but i think we shouldn`t, perhaps we should just leave. and get wet in the rain. it doesn`t matter. we can still change, and we need to change.
and after good things have happened, i suppose bad things are coming.
i`ve been so happy, but now, i`m afraid.
maybe i should just be oblivious to everything that has occurred.
things are probably getting much too complicated than i`ve thought.
it`s still raining now.
and the rain makes me feel the connection.
i don`t know what i`m supposed to do.
perhaps i must force myself...
to me, i only thought things got better.
but instead, it`s only getting worst.
i`m just way too naive.
but, i seriously gotta solve everything.
before they worsen to a deeper level.
afterall, i count myself fortunate.
i shouldn`t take things for granted anymore.
it`s still raining.
and i`ve gotta go to school.
but...
perhaps i should remain at home, only thing is that i can`t.
i feel so lost suddenly.
on a scale of 1 to 10, i only know around a scale of 3 on what is happening.
and my naive nature made me think that i knew so much.
now i realise there`s more to it... and i`m just lost.
but i`m gonna find the way out myself.
i shouldn`t let anyone guide me before i forget the way.
i failed once again @ 8:36:00 am
