Thursday, August 31, 2006
just had a leg cramp, so pain and lasting. i wish pain(of any sort) just wouldn't be everlasting. actually, i posted about my family yesterday but i decided not to publish it. haix... like nothing ever improves.
anyway, today got back results slip. for the 1st time, i passed EL! i'm so happy. but i'm damn frustrated. tell you this: i'm never gonna trust teachers for their answers anymore. first, it's mr G, give us wrong answers for geography tys, but luckily i went according to my own instincts, and i got full marks. then second, ms liao gave wrong answer for the mole concept 5 and i used her answer and that's why i didn't get full marks for that darn test. third, i followed latimer's format for letter writing and i got wrong format for common test. you know how i feel? letter writing is what i'm best in all the time. it's what i've always scored in. yet due to using latimer's format, a few marks are lost. it's like english can? imagine if i used the one which is not taught by her and which was correct, i wouldn't have lost marks just for listening to her and using her shit format. i'm just very angry over this! i guess i could have easily gotten like at least 18 already.
nevermind. talk about results slip. lianglu or whoever that typed the comments apparently can't spell properly, spelt it as 'reuslts'. then my CCA attendance gave me wrong CCA one. what the heck! sad, this time only got 1 A1. then i got A2 for chinese, no wonder he was like saying i must get A1 for chinese. HAHA! i got a variable range of grades, from A1 to D7 all also have at least 1. i needed 1.4 marks more to pass physics. then it's like except for chemistry, which i got A1, and geography which i got 70.3, all the other 7 subjects, i need like less than 1.4 marks to jump grade. and somemore, i got B3 for economics, know what? if that stupid G didn't minus the 1 mark from my essay, i will get A2 already! really feel like punching him in the face. but whatever, i'm quite contented with my marks for the humanities subjects, which i used to detest. shall work harder, triple humanities, must get better for humanities, HAHA! but i failed physics again, stupid mr Sim's answers, only he so professional like that can get the answer, even mdm quek get same answer as us, if not i pass physics then i passed all already can.
actually wanted to go back JPS today, but then i was advised not to go so didn't go. in the end, went westmall. window shopping. until like almost 6pm then go home, actually walking halfway then reach bus-stop and coincidentally 187 came, so just took bus home. so is half walk half take bus. LOL!
i failed once again @ 7:01:00 pm
Monday, August 28, 2006
i'm so happy again today. ms liao agreed to take photos with us for the cyberprints and the badge! but not so sure about ms ker yet, cos i asked ms liao to help ask. hopefully can. =]
lianglu has so high expectations of me, whatever. i think life will be hell for me if i ever get an A2 for chinese. and he was like saying this and that just because i looked tired and i seriously was. he's so irritating. all of us waited more than 2h just for the arrival of an idiot, then we started marking our books. he should have just gave us the answers before he went to class since he already knows he's gonna be late.
what the heck! there's gonna be stupid CCA tomorrow. say what holidays plan, like as if anyone would ever care? she's so what, dream to be salesperson, and she told me she should change jobs. yeah right! and over there, made me call the lower secondary pupils go buy pens from her. seriously crap! then say what holidays must paint this paint that, and sell to teachers who are interested. still say paint teacher's face. so super lame! all she ever thinks about is making money. i really think the committee should get together 1 day and pass feedback forms to all the members around, to improve this club.
these few days suffering from insomnia, i suppose. and i'm just lazy to the extent that i would rather sleep with lights on and things all over my bed rather than to clear everything and lights off.
hope to have a good night's sleep today. HAHA!
life still rocks.
i failed once again @ 8:43:00 pm
Friday, August 25, 2006
today was extremely FUN!
kinda strange, but ever since that time i was sick, i started loving school more and more. also, i don't fall asleep during lessons anymore. maybe one of the wires in my brain got affected when i was sick, thus the outcome, but it's good anyway. so i shall just live with it. everyday, i'm just hyped to go to school. i no longer need sweets to keep awake. i listen during physics lessons. i like margaret loh! actually, i also can't believe i would like her as a teacher. hope things can be like that forever, then O levels will definitely not be a problem for me, except that i need more practice for english.
yes, i like PE. but sad that we're missing it next week and the week after! running is fun, games are fun, especially frisbee. can't remember exactly what happened during geography. it was all map-reading stuffs, and i finally understand what mr G means by dividers. then i told desiree about how mr G's saliva spits out as he talk, and she was disgusted by it. social studies was rather okay. at least i paid attention, and i filled in some similarities on my own. maths was rather fun, since the current part of trigonometry is so easy. but well, i don't like 3-D problems for e maths though. =/ during CME, it was like so funny. she gave us a test with answers all at the back, believing we're full of integrity. then ashley still went round telling the other groups about the answers. can't control my laughters. and i took like so long to teach lili a very simple maths question. and the last lesson for the week. desiree and i was practically crazy. we laughed and laughed throughout the whole lesson. i really enjoy sitting with her. she's so funny, imagine this and that and make me laugh till crazy for like an entire hour during mr G's lessons. i didn't take down any notes at all, except for the definitions of MC and MR. then i asked if she even understand what he's talking about, and she said she doesn't have a clue, also, the whole class was like sian diao already. later, she decided not to take down notes also and both of us started playing bingo. i won her both times, but the 2nd time round, some problems occurred because 1 of us missed out on a number due to mr G's LOUD voice. then we took quite some time to find out what number it was, and laughed and laughed non-stop. later G returned us the tests, couldn't stop laughing at him saying those stupid phrases we used. i actually thought i was the one who wrote "normal but unique", but apparently, it wasn't me. but i sorta regret. i got B4 even though i rushed it out during midnight, like around 3am plus? and i deleted whole chunks of paragraphs as there was too much words. then it was quite obvious i didn't plan it. i should learn from this lesson - never do last minute work! and when he left the class, i was like telling desiree i should have asked G why he changed my marks. at first, i took it as a joke, then she told me to go ask him why. so i really chased him all the way till staffroom there. he bounces so fast that i needed to run to catch up with him. then he said it was only 1 mark, but to me, it's a difference of 1 grade! and he explained that he marked it in sequence and that i didn't develop my ideas well enough. haha, do in midnight, of course substandard. then he like reassured me saying what my english improved since last year. and i said like no, i failed last term. then he said it was disturbing. HAHA! and he told me i must pass for end-of-year if not it will be problematic. he always says i'm problematic! then he was like saying at least my writing style improved slightly. but he decided to change it and say that at least my writing style improved quite a bit. then he say i must read more books and write more. and i was like trying hard not to laugh in front of him. like the past 1 hour, i have been laughing at him. everything was just so fun. after that, went back class to finish my a maths homework.
later, we went to jurong point shopped around for something. so relaxing. then we did stupid things to like tarnish our reputation? or rather, dumb things. and we went to all those shops like Toys'r'us and kiddy palace. but then, everything was still so fun. i felt so damn relaxed. no stress at all. then, we were looking for that particular something, but we couldn't find it, instead we found one titled 'Best Beer Belly'. and my couz, she did many malu things. then at Toys'r'us, we saw this tigger toy that bounces. really exhilarating. laughed uncontrollably at it bouncing and singing. and another pooh toy, which keeps saying faster, faster. in the end, only left at 6:30pm. and i reached home around 7pm plus. saw ms ker at the bus stop boarding the bus on my way home.
i actually felt today was like the best day of my life. there was no tests. and so what if it was a school day? i'm starting to enjoy and fall in love with school for all that i know. i realise that life doesn't revolve round studies. i don't get saddened by my underperformance this term because i know there's still 1 more year for me to show what i'm truly capable of, and i'm sure i'll really show it all. especially today, no stress, no problems. totally nothing troubling me at all. i had a great time in class. i had a great time outside school. life has much more to offer. it sort of brought back memories of the olden days, when i was younger and totally innocent. but i didn't know that even after growing up, i can still have no troubles at all. what a wonderful day! then when i came home, i talked so much with my mother. and my father said he'll get string for me for geography. and my brother let me use the computer. when one starts to realise what life has to offer, it's wonderful. i think i shall lead this happy life. always learn to look on the bright side. so what if it's B4 for economics, it's a HIGH B4. and if i were to get B3, it's a borderline. i think i understand what's life about, but not totally yet.
i'm so contented with myself for completing a maths homework in class. also, i finished the chemistry worksheet when i got back home. what a productive day! everything seemed so easy.
i failed once again @ 8:54:00 pm
Thursday, August 24, 2006
WE spoilt our reputation in the school.
WE caused complaints by subject teachers to our CMs as we are noisy.
WE ruined today's english lesson.
i just wanna use WE... afterall, it's a class, not an individual. i know some events are solely caused by 1 person, but i don't care anymore. things won't change if you pinpoint anyone. it's better to suffer as a class, then people will be guilty of affecting the whole class, that's way better. it's class 3/2, it's not 3-2=1 individual.
i don't know why. class problems? like the visualiser thing. what the heck! it's not even spoilt at all. or maybe the technicians are the world's most generous people ever that they decided to replace the "SPOILT" one with a brand new one. our class reputation is like totally ruined, subject teachers complain to our CMs because lessons cannot go on properly with that amount of noise. first triple humanities class in singapore, does the school ever care? do they have to wait till we create history at O levels then they stop seeing 3/2 as not so good? it's like even a shame that our own subject teachers have absolutely no idea we are the economics class until we tell them. i think the school does not view economics as an important subject. people can have common tests for all their other subjects, but economics? it only remains as class test. i bet it's due to jealousy.
enough about bad things. they aren't exactly like highlights of the days/weeks or whatever. however, i'm quite happy now. finally having the time to relax! tests for this week are all over. geography and chemistry class tests were really giveaways! and i was so delighted i got 100% for geography! that's like my first A1 for geography since secondary 2, so i'm definitely over the moon and beyond the Sun? today's chemistry test was rather okay. but my script is rather messy. left my correction tape in my bag, and i can't take it out because we're not supposed to turn our heads behind. combined humanities project marks was rather okay. left 1 mark to A2, what a pity! mathematics project marks kinda letdown. saw the current maths marks. and for both, i only need like less than 0.5 marks to jump grade. saw our progress for combined humanities. guess that's the subject i improved most. saw the first 4 columns of mine, all RED. then subsequently, i start passing and somemore, it's not borderline pass! oh yes, and that reminds me of studying hard for social studies common test this coming monday.
what a nice day! i can finally turn in early today. no more late night muggings for tests. and another thing, didn't have to face ruth today. and i think there's no CCA next week too! but then, i need to find her tomorrow for the claim. i doubt can claim full amount anyway.
HAHA! today's chemistry class test, the last question. i sorta helped ms liao pointed out her mistake, if not people will maybe blame her for wrong solutions for mole concept 5. so funny, yesterday i told her, her reaction so exaggerating and funny, now i know why, because she set it as a question.
during recess, saw some bo liao things on the whiteboard in mr G's pigeon hole. wonder who wrote those. oh, and he's so bad too. asked him how to do the question then he didn't even bother looking and say he don't know. so in the end, he don't know, i also don't know, so don't do lor! xP
4/3 is so good. still thanked teachers who are no longer in this school, for example vanessa lim and kelly lim.
that day dreamt of vanessa lim, kinda strange but interesting.
today physics lesson was so funny. values given by us were like totally out-of-this-world and unbelievable. couldn't stand it, keep laughing. desiree and i laughed and laughed initially, but towards the end of the lesson, both of us were like lethargic already. maybe we laughed a little too much?
i failed once again @ 3:02:00 pm
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
CRAP! even my e maths common test result was just that bad. i just feel so pathetic. but to think i at least passed, i think it's not too bad considering the fact that i was very very sick the time i took the paper and it's just like i can't even think properly.
i agree totally with what mrs loh said today. 9 subjects are maybe too stressing. throughout this year, i've already been trying my best and struggling to hang in there. there had been umpteen times i wanted to give up -- the time when i had to find mr G repeatedly for days and days to spend hours with him to get the demand and supply curves application into my head, the time when i failed my physics mid-year examination, the time i got back my term 1 progress report, the time i stayed for night study to consult mdm quek right before physics mid-year examination, the times joanna always got way higher marks than me in every subject, the times i fail to get A1 for chinese, the time my physics common test marks changed from passed to just pass to fail, the times i had to stay up till after 1am to complete my assignment, the period i didn't get any sleep during the mid-year examination, the times i were indecisive whether integrity or marks were more important and i'm sure there were many other times. actually, everytime i wanna give up, i think of secondary 2, how my results were SO bad and how many positions i slipped in level, it was just too atrocious. i never have hopes of entering 3/2 at all, but somehow, i managed to squeeze in. i did consider dropping the 9th subject even before i attempted it, but i felt it was a stupid thing to do. now, i'm still hanging in there because i've chosen this path for my upper secondary years, i don't wanna succumb to pressure so easily, i've gone thru it and truly understands how negative it can be. in fact, i sorta think mrs loh rocked, for saying this. but she shouldn't have like told us to drop subjects, probably. holidays are approaching, end-of-years are coming. i just gotta give it my all, hoping i can pass english, hoping i can get thru this barrier.
yes, there`s geography class test tomorrow. 30 minutes for 30 mcq? it's kinda like difficult to concentrate, with a teacher doing stupid things to distract students taking the tests. but i really wanna get like high high marks for this. i'm really gonna study hard! and what the heck, i think putting books under the tables seriously isn't safe! know what? i didn't even know that my marianne chong guidebook was missing until priscy suddenly passed it to me today. oh, how conscious i am.
weird. i don't feel tired during lessons even when i've been turning in after 3am for the past 2 nights.
haix.. i think relations with my parents are getting worse. now, it's like my mother talk to me and i won't reply already. don't ask me why i don't reply. not like i act ignorant or act never hear her. it's like what for reply when it'll turn into quarrels everytime? last time, i used to talk back at least, now i'm sick of it. it's like pointless doing so because parents afterall, have the authority. they have the overall say, whatever that comes out of their mouth is correct, even if it's wrong factually. there's no point arguing because they've the authority to shout at you, scold at you whatever. it's unfair, and i'm tired of these... so, what for talk??? isn't worth my breath or saliva.
i was like so happy last night. was frantically searching for lower secondary letter writing notes because i left my english file in school. and besides finding a stack of english notes for summary, comprehension, letter writing, narrative essays & expository essays, i also found the WHOLE set of ms ker's secondary 2 history notes! it would have been better if i dug them out earlier, but nevermind. at least i discovered them.
i failed once again @ 5:09:00 pm
Monday, August 21, 2006
haix... don't know why so many things happened, and so many problems existed. and i'm totally disappointed with myself. i know i should be like extremely happy since i got like 2 A1s for the tests we got back today, but so what? it's just evidence of my results slipping. and somemore, both are only borderline A1s. underperforming, doing the worst i could ever be doing. sometimes, i think i really gotta learn the hard way. i don't seem to be able to learn if i've not experienced it, or know the hardships. why must i always do the wrong things first before i can learn? primary school was a complete disaster for me, and now, it still seems like i can't learn the easy way. feeling like breaking down, all my results seriously sucks, and that's because i suck. like exactly how many tests have we taken this term, i'm just so sad to say that i'm happy with none of my results. not even the chemistry, i could have gotten better if not for stupid mistakes. maybe that's the only result i can be proud of and happy about, but i'm so ashamed because it's just mistakes! and all the other tests are done so badly... how much more failures do i have to go thru first? i know what to expect when i receive the term 3 progress report next week. things like failing physics, becoming a norm for me when i'm a physics student. then all i can ever say is that i took physics cos i cannot choose biology if i want economics, what kinda excuse is that? maybe 9 subjects wasn't my kinda thing. overly disappointed, i'm numb to everything. when did life revolve round school and studies and results? and why?
i failed once again @ 9:42:00 pm
Saturday, August 19, 2006
BAD!
Physical Situation:
imagine having really really extremely out-of-this-world dreams about your own school when you`re sleeping. then, even before such a super long dream ended, y0u get leg cramps --- the best part being both your right & left legs get cramps together at the same time! and you start tossing & turning in bed and kicking your legs until 1 gets better and then you fail to stand because the other leg is still having a cramp. and since tuesday, you got a flu due to the heavy rain, which got worst and worst and you get fever. the fever & flu died down, you have sore throat, you feel giddy & nauseous. then the sore throat disappeared, but now, you've got a bad cough, to accompany your giddy & nauseous condition. also, even when you feel really weak in the midst of schooling, you cannot go back home because your family just cannot be there for you.
Academia:
underperforming to the worst that you probably ever can. teachers volunteerily want to help you so much so that you can perform better, and yet you firmly rejected teacher's help to make him/her angry? last few weeks of term 3 about to come, i don't want a repetition of history of what happened on the last thursday before march holidays this year. test papers are all streaming in, you see your results, you feel so damn upset, you didn't do well. you let down everyone, and disappoint yourself. you're just starting to become a procrastinator. then, you realised that term 3 is coming to an end, and it's term 4 soon, which means, your whatever examinations are really approaching. you haven't done anything that could help you improve your weakest & yet the most important subject -- english. you ask a teacher for help for a question you do not know how to solve, the teacher teaches you step-by-step & commented good, but in fact, it's the wrong answer. you have totally no clue what is happening to the world around you. you always only know how to regret when you're in the midst of the test because you realise that you could have done the paper easily if you have studied properly. you really feel helpless about your academia already, you've tried your best, put in alot of efforts, and the results aren't exactly pleasing. you feel your intelligence is just wearing off.
Family:
your father totally doesn't care about you at all, he just knows that you're a living thing. your mother seems to be a tiny bit more concerned about you than your father, but she doesn't know anything at all. every night, she shout at you to study for your CA2 even when the school you've been in for the past 3 years obviously don't have CA(s) schedules. you were touched when your mother went into your room to look at you when you were resting because she only does that when you're sick, but apparently, you found out that she don't even know you're sick.
- and other than these 3 main ones, there are still many on the list. one of which i think is pretty bad, the class problem. i think i should just close an eye to these matters. at first, the class is so united but it doesn't seem so now. many problems are surfacing already. and i don't want to comment on anything or anyone relating to these issues. what i can hope for is people don't go round backstabbing each other. it's also better to keep your valuables and revision notes safely, when term 4 is approaching, examinations are nearing.
what a bad dream! i dreamt that my mother gave me a winning lottery ticket, she told me i could claim a few hundreds with it & the money will be mine. and although i would want the money pretty much, i was sad because she's betting again.
i failed once again @ 9:31:00 am
as i thought i was recovering slowly, things got ready for another change and now, i`m having a bad cough.
when the carnival was over, i thought we could heave a sigh of relief, but i realise there`re much much more problems surfacing now, in every part of life.
to work myself out is definitely a no-no if i wanna get well. but how the heck then am i supposed to complete all the assignments on time. i`ve not completed geography workbook, which was given out long ago. also haven`t done the chinese workbook exercises. there`s history SEQ, and economics essay too! plus i only got the english remedial stuffs today cos i was sick and skipped remedial. also, a maths homework.
anyway, shall just struggle through the pile. what can i be incapable of when i`ve already taken 2 tests when i`m sick?
not so sure about my economics marks, but i think shall just trust what mr G said then. well, i`m actually quite disappointed with myself. i actually did study hard for it but well...
and may still be going library tomorrow.
BAD situation i`m in now. bet my parents will be awaken in the middle of the night by my never-ending loud cough.
shall remind myself. $10 for yearbook, $2 for chemistry papers.
i failed once again @ 12:12:00 am
Friday, August 18, 2006
been feeling sick these few days, even today still. and i feel so guilty, my mother has been washing my uniform for me the past few days too. i feel so bad.
was feeling very very bad this morning. i skipped PE, and i realised i was sitting directly under the fan, bitterly cold! then i shifted until where there was totally no fan, but it was still cold. and finally, back to class for geography. thought it would be better, but instead it was worst. i felt so giddy and nauseous actually. wasn`t actually paying much attention in class. mr G was apologising for not teaching us properly and preparing us for the geography common test. great, now there`s sure gonna be maths and humanz remedial next wednesday. actually, he shouldn`t blame it fully on himself. partly, it`s our fault for not studying and revising too. but anyway, i really feel he didn`t teach that chapter properly. but the coasts chapter, i could still understand, so it`s not that bad.
later social studies i was studying for economics test. always never pay attention in her lesson one...
then recess. OMG! as i was walking back to class after changing, i was along the biology lab corridor, and i could clearly hear what mr G was saying in 1/8. what the heck! and we were discussing about how he can go try break guiness world record for this.
maths was quite okay. then she returned binomial theorem written work, i was quite surprised she did corrections for me. cos i remember that time i was one of those who didn`t handed in on time and was standing up, and she was like quite angry with me and said i was adding to the pile. i`m starting to feel she`s so good. HAHA! maths is no longer boring lessons for me. yesterday during lessons was so cool. she purposely walked up to me and asked me what happened to me. then i said i was sick so didn`t go remedial. and she asked if i was very sick. then i said yes. she asked if i`ve started on the remedial worksheet already then i sincerely told her no. i was expecting her to maybe be a bit unhappy but instead she was smiling and calling me to take my own time to complete it. and still tell me to look for her next wednesday if i have any problems. she`s just so good!
during economics test, mr G was treating the class as his circus and he was being a clown, trying to distract us. imagine a stupid teacher doing all sorts of dumb things, like showing his phone to the whole class, jumping around, dancing, marching etc. but i just ignored him! yet, it`s still kinda irritating to see a figure moving around and around while you`re attempting a test.
i finally stayed back today, although i wasn`t feeling well. but in the end, quite sad. and so damn embarassing, i asked for 'ms audrey tham'! then i was like 'omg.' and felt like putting down the phone straightaway, luckily she wasn`t around already. later asked mr G, then he said i got 15, but don`t know real or not. it`s like he bounced out of staffroom and i asked him and he just knows. WOW! after that, there were like 5 of us there, when only 2 people are talking. after that, we went to staircase G there sit and laugh at stupid things mr G does. in the end, talk until almost 6:45pm like that then decided to go down. then they were like blocking the way and testing the band people.
and yesterday was so happy. mdm quek was like asking me where`s my ray diagram and i showed her, then she said good. HAHA! but then that made me so happy. i really wanna do well for physics. but i think i`ve made her lose the trust she once had in me already after that time. feel so bad. i`ve been failing physics not because i`m THAT bad in it. rather, it`s because i choose to believe so. i choose to think that i cannot score. i choose to think i`m not good in physics. that`s the only thing keeping me from passing physics.
haix.. so fast the term ending already. i still feel it`s only a few weeks after june holidays only. but well, it`s only 2 more weeks to september holidays. really gotta start working hard, i wanna be promoted to secondary 4. HAHA! and i`m quite disappointed with my terms this term, everything is just so substandard. i failed physics common test. i have many careless mistakes in chemistry common test. i underperformed for my chinese common test. i got a borderline marks for the grade for a maths common test. i`m so slack seriously. what the heck have i been doing?
sicksick. must rest.
i failed once again @ 8:14:00 pm
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
what the heck! just cos it rained so suddenly then i got flu now. ohmygod, it isn`t like i even got drenched in the rain at all. sudden weather changes are not good for me, gives me flu. nevermind. i shall just sleep till it goes away. whose fault? why did it rain?
couz! your fault... naughty couz. last time spread to your sis, now make it rain and i flu. don`t hai your family leh. haiyo!
i failed once again @ 7:28:00 pm
now having flu. actually only minor running nose, then later start sneezing and then flu. progressive, stage-by-stage development. all caused by the rain. the rain start, then i start running nose too. and whose fault is it that it rained? my couz!
surprise, today come back so early, since there`s no CCA. then right after maths end leave school already. HAHA! then we so bad. we saw ms liao then know that she going off, but didn`t care much. then we saw her car outside school gate, so we quickly walk to see who drive to fetch her, so fun. no wonder lately she hasn`t been driving to school. now i get the idea...
today chinese test not bad, given that i didn`t study. comprehension passage was like so long to me. so i didn`t read finish and anyhow write answers. the phrases part also anyhow put number. just hope the marks not too bad then can already.
what a waste of time! we spent almost half an hour to get the projector set up with the class consensus of projecting onto the whiteboard. wise time management? so in the end, we only got half an hour of economics lesson. and G was saying and sounding as if he`s so super sad that he didn`t get dunk during the carnival day. but so funny. and he sounded like so disapointed and scolding us. his 1st economics class let him down with their business failure. LOL!
chemistry was abit scary. like the moment she came in, she start giving out worksheets and the class so quiet. later start teaching. then got 1 part, i was popping a sweet into my mouth when we were supposed to be working out the chemical and ionic equations. she looked at me, then i thought she wanted call me write, lucky me, cos she chose desiree instead. then she don`t know how do state symbol, so i anyhow tell her first. and later i realised it`s wrong, then only tell her when she returned to the seat. so funny, she was complaining that ms liao so short and still write the chemical equation so high on the whiteboard then she have to tiptoe and so difficult to write. and later, was like comparing the heights of ms liao and darren, it`s like so distinct.
english was very boring. annoyed by some irritants who just can`t shut their mouths, like as if they are fishes and have to open their mouth to breathe and at the same time, make stupid irritating noises that deafens others. please be considerate can? nevermind. some living creatures just don`t have the ability to do so, saddening fact.
physics was just more or less okay. so so so boring at first that i lied on the table. then somebody came and left. i was woken by the sounds of the keys, very distinctly, i knew it was ms liao. like no other teachers i know of makes that sound by walking all the time. but she can also make the sound even when sitting down. -.- so i tried to understand what mdm quek was teaching, but then i was like lost in the universe.
maths, as usual, SUPER BORING! i only gonna like force myself to score in maths just for O levels okay, and i`m not gonna take it anymore if i go to a JC, unless really no choice. i hate calculations, mole concept too. oh, and that reminds me we`re having a mole concept test sometime next week? but seriously, i prefer tests to lessons.
tomorrow maths test!
oh, wednesday tomorrow. G says he will return us geography common test scripts, then we`ll be following timetable, half hour geography, half hour economics. but... it`s wednesday. i wonder if he`ll pon school? didn`t anyone notice that he seems to ALWAYS fall sick on wednesdays? the day of the week.. interesting personality/ characteristic.
haix.. i`m so irritated by some people in the class. those who just can`t shut up, those who just can`t be serious. it`s not like i`m demanding everyone to be as quiet as me and don`t talk at all. you can talk all you want, but you don`t have to let the whole class hear you when you`re only talking to someone near you. why? do you think you have extreme vocals? talk so loud for what, got reward is it? then when receive back tests, need to let whole class know whether you pass or fail is it. like as if your performance is of utmost importance to the wellbeing of others in the class, huh? get high marks then shout and exclaim and laugh at others who fail, very fun is it? then fail the test and you go round shouting and cursing in class, like everyone owes you a living. what are you? president son? or you think you`re king? what`s so funny about imitating teachers? very fun is it? why can`t you spend that time to study and stop cursing when you fail test instead? think what, curse then can get full marks? then see people not happy and you shout, just cos you got loud voice. very big is it? during lessons wanna joke just joke among your cliques, don`t have to affect the others who seriously wanna study right. why? comedian-in-training attached to commonwealth secondary school? please stop making a fool of yourselves. stop acting cool. i hate all the attitudes of you people imitating teachers and laughing like hell. what the heck`s so funny? so disgusting, you don`t even have your own style, what for go imitate teachers? in love with them? got crush on them? it`s like some uncivilized businessman and woman shouting and shouting in a meeting and laughing at others whose proposal got rejected. can you please show respect for others before you demand respect from them? everyone is in 3/2, everyone is in this together, can stop complaining about how much tests you have like as if you`re so popular that everyone`s giving you FREE tests? just bloody pissed with some people. i know it`s quite obvious who are the ones i`m referring to. and i hope people who have no clue who i`m referring to will not go round guessing this and that person. i`m just bloody pissed.
i failed once again @ 3:03:00 pm
Monday, August 14, 2006
extremely fatigued today.
though lessons were only 2 and a half hours.
during chinese, bia that green book, then not tired, but he say don`t need do, call us read the book. and i read until i really wanna fall asleep. later geography, very exhausted already. but i tahan. didn`t fall asleep, was laughing at the chicken little thing. so funny! later maths, totally boring. give up already. she writing down the whole solution on the board, i sleep. my eyes just keep shutting. lucky never get caught, hate getting caught for sleeping by her. cause everytime so many people sleep, she always pick me. but nevermind, i changed sleeping methods already, specially for her lessons only, so she won`t know that i`m actually sleeping. xP
later going back school again.
wellwell... on my own accord.
i LOVE school.
a child which used to shine in the parents` eyes,
now viewed as a nuisance/burden.
a child who used to be smart in the parents` eyes,
now viewed as a stupid moron.
things change, people change, everything changes.
but why... some changes are more than 180degrees.
today NO homework. =]
but then got test tomorrow mah.
how to read finish that whole book?
but i have to admit the stories are quite meaningful.
must try can le.
do to the best of my abilities, not to the best of others!
see.. now school dismiss already, i not tired anymore.
i failed once again @ 2:22:00 pm
Sunday, August 13, 2006
omg! can`t believe that g actually agree to pay $35 for that 4 pathetic things. plus it`s like don`t need persuade him to buy. he`s just so super willing to buy. but anyway, gave him discount. we not so bad people, since he`s like so keen on buying those and the prices are like way too expensive seriously. then later, i got free lunch. and after that, someone being so generous, gave me $18 worth of the tickets. i didn`t even spend a single cent today. and the whole thing was actually kinda boring. i was so damn tired already. wasn`t interested in playing any of the games at all. then later, suddenly all the sad things happen one by one, like domino effect. but in the end, i think everything became not that bad. left the school already, then heard that stupid announcement calling all students assemble in hall. many crazy people ran back, but i`m glad to say i`m normal, i`m not crazy, so i didn`t run back. and also, the group of us dedicated sooo many songs.
walking back home, halfway saw my brother with his friend. then later called him and we went back home together. and found out that our parents are at home, sick.
yay! tomorrow only report to school @ 1015am. hope don`t fall asleep, especially maths!
i failed once again @ 8:09:00 pm
Saturday, August 12, 2006
wasted my time going back to school today. we did nothing productive. unhappiness. don`t know what happened in the end cos all the girls left earlier as there was totally nothing to do. what the heck! shouldn`t even have gone back today, it was really crap.
this year`s carnival may turn out to be great. but i doubt i`m supporting any stalls. i haven`t got any tickets and i`m not planning to get any. gotta save & scrimp. i`ve spent too much already.
bloody hell. shouldn`t have bought that e-dictionary which no words can be used to describe it`s negative points. btw, i guess everyone should know it`s another item from CREATIVE technologies, well but actually, it ain`t creative at all. yes, the sales at our school was 31july. they sold it for $25.20, when you can obviously get it wayyy cheaper at other schools. somehow, i think because their headquarters is nearer to our school, so they have to sell it more expensive? okay. why i`m pissed with it is because firstly, i don`t really use dictionary on normal days so i left it on the table. when i took it to use just now, the stupid spring was already broken, when i didn`t use it before. what the heck! less than a month that spring spoil. 2nd, i was searching for a word which i don`t know how to pronounce, so i use the other function to find, and apparently, there`s no such word stored in that bloody dictionary. oh yes, what`s a might dictionary for? to get spoilt easily? to find words which you already know? and i waited so long to get a new electronic dictionary after my old one spoilt last year after functioning for around 5 years. after that, i didn`t buy a new one because MOE was gonna release this e-dictionary crap. and it`s really crap. should have just bought a new one last year, which would be wayyy better than this CREATIVE technologies one. creative, my head lah! copycat, yes right! sucker, yes right!
feeling so pissed right now, due to what happened today. probably not gonna spend at the carnival tomorrow. must control. but think gonna get dunked. oh whatever! i feel everything sucks! today shouldn`t have existed. what a disgusting day.
and i`m so susceptible to leg cramps. every now and then, i`ll get leg cramps, at least once per month, and if really bad, i can get it continuously for days. i wonder why so. is it cos of stress? cos it all started during the examination periods. i remember during mid-year, every night will be mugging till at least 3plus, and if i go sleep later on, sure will get leg cramps. haix! pain leh.. how?
i failed once again @ 9:57:00 pm
Friday, August 11, 2006
things are so strange nowadays!
my stupid phone. can`t charge it. but it`s like truely weird. everytime i use charger charge, just somehow can`t charge. but if i don`t charge it, it`s like spooky. from low-batt or no battery, it can automatically become full-batt within a few seconds lah... it`s like i don`t have to charge anymore.
then during morning, i was having a dream. can`t really remember what`s it all about. only that suddenly i heard my mother calling 'girl, girl' and i woke up. and i remember i got set alarm to go off at 5am, so that i can revise for history test. but when i check the alarm clock, no alarm was set. but every night, i got check! somemore, i changed from 6am to 5am lor...
today PE was affected again.
during geography, G was late for 10 minutes or so. then i thought he never come. cos today flag-raising in hall, so can`t see if he got come. and somemore, i don`t know what i dreamt about, but i know the central message of 1 of my dreams last night was that G didn`t come to school today. and i just took it for real that he didn`t come, since it was 10 minutes past his lesson and he hasn`t turned up, so i started sleeping. and desiree suddenly wailed? naturally, i got up and looked around, no G, then look out window, saw him, and felt he was totally strange. it`s like he teach 30 minutes only, then we started mugging for history test.
OMG! i felt the history test was super easy. i got like around 10 minutes after i completed my whole paper. what the heck. when did combined humanities ever become so easy for me? or maybe, i`ll fail it. BUT, if i get good grades for it, something`s really wrong somewhere. look at the chain of strange things happening lately.
and damn. ruth`s like this and that now. CRAP lah! then she wants me to stay at artshop full day. crazy! and she wants us to sell it at $20. everything`s going haywire. she`s evil!
and today, i wasn`t desperately looking for my couz lor. cos i knew that she wasn`t going to school, kinda strange too. haix...
haix.. no weekend break. saturday need go back school. sunday also. hope it`ll be fun lor.
then yesterday chatting was couz online. was so super funny. discovered that both our mothers` names are the same. then i couldn`t stop laughing lah. everything was like so qiao. we were listening to 'liao jie' at the same time. we had to go off to eat dinner at the same time. strange, but so funny!
i failed once again @ 8:41:00 pm
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
today was an early day, which eventually became a super late day. actually dismissed at 11plus? then i only reached home at 8plus... btw, i didn`t go out play or celebrate or anything okay. just went to do some serious work. celebrations @ the centre was kinda okay. there`s like nothing much i can expect actually. but, there`s this 1 thing i`ve to point out. the recollections thing, yes, the one which is such a serious thing. i wonder who did the slides on it. you know there`s this part which goes like 'even our friends disagree sometimes', or at least that`s what mr G has been reading out. but if you`re observant enough to look at the screen, it`s typed out as 'even our friends disgrace sometimes'. oh man, what a disgrace! seriously, totally. then all the other were more or less okay. actually went to reception, then audrey was introducing the 3 souls to ros. then irene lim and kokila were both so damn funny i can`t stop laughing. then ms liao came to talk to us, and while margaret loh was waiting for the lift, she keep staring at us with her, like as if we can`t talk to each other. went to JE popular to replenish my stationery supply. then i was like expecting it to be around $14 or $15, but it only came up to $11.79! and somemore, they round up to $11.75, which is so lame lah... later, went KFC for lunch cos i sian of McDonalds and LJS no more seats available. i was so blur lah. i already told the person change drinks to lemonade le. then later he gave me coke, and i blur blur carry back. and halfway back to seat, i realise it should be lemonade then i went back to change. -.-''' went library do the stuffs for carnival. didn`t complete lor. and we`re so dead lah. then did and did all the way until 7plus only then did we pack up and go back. by the time reach home, was so late already. and also damn tired cos i only turned in at 3plus last night, and somemore couldn`t get to sleep...
-8augo6.
^^^^^
just realised that singaporeans are THAT patriotic. look around, you`ll definitely see people hanging flags outside their flats, yes, they do that on other festive occassions too, don`t they? but realise it`s only the sights. how about the sounds? last time, i DO hear national day songs being played on the television every now and then, but this year? i don`t know is it i`m watching too little television programs or what, but so far, i have not heard any national day songs on air yet. well, kinda sad. most singaporeans are sort of like more crazy over the parade and fireworks, instead of their patriotism. promote national day, shouldn`t we?
-9augo6.
~~~~~
morning went out to JE st 31 for breakfast with mom. then it`s like purposely go there for breakfast only lor. yeah, after that, went to westmall. went to buy conditioner first. then slowly slowly went up to 5th floor. went yellow to see bags. and decided which to buy, showed my mom, then she said okay, but go back later. BLAH! cos she wanted to go popular first -.- anyway, after that, she call me go zinc see. so just go there SEE only, and went back to yellow to buy. kinda lame actually.
today was so fun.
HER shirt, HIS bag. haha!
i`m really treating it like holidays. but gotta bia those art things and homework and mug for history test tonight. haix...
- 1oaugo6.
i failed once again @ 9:45:00 pm
Monday, August 07, 2006
wasn`t really feeling well today. but anyway, just survived thru it. my parents are really goddamnn irritating. switch on my room lights early in the morning cos i didn`t wanna wake up. and it`s like monday! i don`t have to report at 7:15am lah. then i came back home, feeling really no energy already, went lie down on my bed. somehow, they have to go switch on my room lights again just to tell me that they`re going out when they could just tell my brother to pass the message to me when i wake up.
and something was really unexpected! like we`re not given tons of homework for the holidays actually, can anyone ever imagine that? how the teachers always used to drown us with homework... but now, there isn`t. unless the evil ones are gonna give us 'presents' tomorrow, which i don`t think will happen. and i may be really taking a break, for good!
i think ruth spoilt the whole day for the school. imagine the 1st announcement was like 'art club!'... then i was like thinking 'ohmygod! what the heck`s ruth up to lah..' so unpleasant to hear it early in the morning. then later, during afternoon assembly, there was another one. but anyway, i didn`t go at all.
today was like kinda a good day. there was no remedials, the best thing! like how often is this possible... and the physics common test wasn`t a killer at all! though there`s a possibility of failing, but it`s seriously easy.. like probably easiest one i`ve ever seen. received back the A maths common test scripts today, then i actually did really badly lah.. kinda disappointed but then what`s done been done.
then after school went to IMM. and i suddenly felt so unstable like that. my vision just blurred, my hearing was affected, everything was a blank. and to prevent myself from fainting or whatever, i quickly squat down... until it got a tad better. and by the time i reach home, i really felt as if i have no more energy left.
mission possible: finish all homework by tomorrow or even tonight!
i failed once again @ 8:42:00 pm
Sunday, August 06, 2006
i think i`m wasting my time. i don`t know what i`m reading, i don`t understand a single thing about physics. desperately trying to understand the chapter from many sources. first, my own textbook. don`t know what crap it`s saying. then my brother`s textbook, which is the 1 the secondary 4s are currently using, everything`s just making me blur and confused. then my guidebook, i don`t know why there`re so many strange things. even referred to some websites stated in the guidebook, but all these just doesn`t seem to be able to make me understand physics at all.
my hand was black. my hand is red. it is colourful. -.-
my memory`s failing me. i`m seriously having stml. ><
i`m all prepared for to fail the physics common test tomorrow.
i failed once again @ 2:54:00 pm
Saturday, August 05, 2006
iced milo. 迷路兵。
lalala~~
i hate the darn printer.
it tastes extremely bitter.
printers are invented for reasons, but i don`t see how USEFUL my printer is. that time, i stayed till so late to find information and collate them for the geography groupwork then all the efforts went down the drain cos this darn printer could not print it for some damn reason. and now? makes my day worse.
this stupid machine, supposed to make my life better, not miserable.
and i`ve just changed skin again.
interesting. my throat got better and back to normal when i started drinking loads of cold drinks, and then my cough disappeared.
physicsphysicsphysics.
why the hell am i taking a subject which i`ve always hated since young? oh, for the sake of taking up economics? why can`t it be economics common test instead of physics common test? why don`t we have economics common test? physics is SO boring. i don`t like physics! i don`t think physics make any sense to me, i can`t see what`s physics and why it`s that way. so totally not a physics person who`s just struggling to pass physics, what a hard battle.
nothing`s been happening recently, especially since i`m one who doesn`t read the news. but, i think i saw 1 of those silver taxis for the IMF event. nice meh?
lessons with mrs yip once every week, sounds fun? first was mrs loh. second was lianglu. then yesterday was g. the good thing is lessons always get ALOT more interesting and interactive than normal and i always have a good laugh at the teachers. i sound like a saddist but i just can`t help it. like mrs loh wasn`t in school for the following days after that lesson due to gastric. lianglu was tripping in class over bags continually. g was saying 'okay' once or twice in every sentence. wonder which teacher is next and what`s gonna make me laugh non-stop again...
goodnight.
i failed once again @ 11:07:00 pm
Thursday, August 03, 2006
i`m really fed up with myself. but i just don`t wanna push myself too hard, i`m already breaking down. nowadays i don`t even have the time to come online at all. i`m online now for a valid reason but i feel cheated. yesterday, i fell asleep after dinner. then i went to my room and i lay straight on the bed. when i woke up, it was 12:15am. then i was so tired i continued sleeping until i realised it was already 5:50am. started rushing to pack my bag and bathe and do anything necessary. did a small portion of the homework and quickly rushed off for school at 7am. i`m like really trying to hang in there. just can`t help it. my eye rings are getting more and more obvious. but what can i do? the teachers are demanding so much from us. we`ve school, we`ve remedials, we`ve homework. do we ever get a break? like yes, next week 3 days holiday. but do you think it`s really gonna be holiday? right after that, we`ll have a history class test. and as if that`s the only thing. still gotta make all the things for art club. and obviously, there`s gonna be homework. how can we ever cope? breaks are no longer breaks. we no longer rest. we just work 24/7 like robots. even the word 'holiday' has lost its true meaning. we go to school even when we`re sick. what`s the point of living? just to let your life revolve round studies? we wake up early in the morning, when the sky is still dark, just to get to school. we get to school, we study for 7 hours. we get half an hour break. then we continue with another 2 hours. this is already a routine. our attention span is only 2 hours. but we have to study and sit still for 7 hours to listen to different people talking. currently, that`s the kind of life we`re all leading. after that basic 9 hours, everyone has different things to attend to. at the least, i suppose each one of us takes 2 hours to do homework and 2 hours to revise every night. by that time, it would already be 8:30pm. then add all the time you need to travel home from school, wash up, dinner etc. it would be at least 10pm, the sky is already dark. and it`s highly unlikely to get a minimum of 8 hours of sleep. that`s probably why people start falling sick. we`re all overworking ourselves.
sometimes, i feel students lead one of the worst lives. as what mr g has said, teachers are the ones who won`t ever take a break because even after work, they gotta plan lessons and assignments and whatever. but the thing is, they`re at least paid for what they`re doing. and from what mr g has said, most other jobs doesn`t require people to think about their work after knocking off. then how about students? do they seriously get holidays? what are school holidays? they do homework, go back to school for whatever purposes, revise etc. have they seriously got any life other than studying? stay till midnight, wake up so early. then somemore, we`re not paid at all, instead, we`re paying. is this all worth it?
okay.. i`m seriously stressed & PISSED. i just can`t come home to study, especially if my brother is around. everyday when my mother comes home, she`ll start calling me to do this and that if i`m around. then when my father come back, both of them will start talking loudly until after dinner. then, my mother will switch on the television to an extent such that people will think she`s deaf. also, she`ll be chatting on the phone as if the other party`s also deaf. then if my brother`s around, he`ll start disturbing me and i`ll just have to shout and shout at him even though my throat`s not in a good condition now. can you just imagine? with an environment like that, how the heck am i supposed to study or focus? somemore, ALL the teachers are just telling me to go home early to study. is life supposed to be all about studying? what`s the point? we`ll all die one day. who knows? it might just be tomorrow. and probably the cause was homework overload.
really really pissed. everyone has their own lives. you think you`re the only one who`s busy? frankly speaking, everyone else is. people who haven`t noticed this is most likely because they`re too self-centered. they only see they are the busy ones. they think others are free. it`s really irritating. using stupid things as excuses. no one can get away. you`ll just have to learn to adapt to it. you either adapt, or you fail. i despise people who has no responsibility at all. if you did it, just admit. why be scared? and get others into trouble as well.. the next thing i hate is people without integrity. you think it`s funny, you think it`s heroic, you think it`s cool, seriously, it`s STUPIDITY. i wish people who can`t and don`t want to adapt to lives a great failure later on! everyone is just affected by different things. it depends on the individual how they are managing their time.
for some reasons, i was in a super foul mood this morning. and these few days, i`m reaching school so late because i`ve been rushing homework in the morning! today, i was caught for not doing both history and a maths. and the reason was because i was rushing out that damn english GROUPwork. i was also damn unhappy with someone, but i made it a point not to think about it or go hate anyone, because it`s jolly well not worth my PRECIOUS time on them. and i really wish those SLACKers who don`t wanna do their work because it`s after 2pm and school has ended a great journey.
and i`m considering english tuition. well, actually i don`t really like this idea, but i think i may have to do so because latimer is not gonna be here for weeks and she has already mentioned that she won`t be able to go thru everything with us in time for the end-of-year examinations. and at the rate things are going, it doesn`t seem to be progressing at all.
doubt i`m gonna sell any of the carnival tickets. like who exactly can i sell it to anyway? my family`s out, they`re SO unsupportive people and anyway, they won`t be around at all. then my relatives are out too, those supportive ones are not gonna be in singapore. CRAP!
i failed once again @ 8:26:00 pm
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
now`s the sick season, everyone seems to be down with something. i`m not an exception, but luckily mine is just minor. at least still can attend school. it`s just that my throat isn`t so good since saturday. and nowadays, i`m back to the 'don`t-eat-anything' days cos i`ve got no appetite. coupled with the fact that i seriously dislike school food.
lessons are exceptionally boring too. to the extent that we entertain ourselves by gossipping about teachers and commenting about them, just so that we won`t fall asleep. and it`s really quiet already, except for occasional coughing. and what makes it worse is that i`ve just realised that the teachers are once again starting to notice me. or even if not, my name have been mentioned for not-so-good-and-not-too-bad things. like 2 mondays straight, i`ve been asked to put on the tie properly. today, during chinese was like caught by the teacher for not paying attention cos my eyes were moving! and he`s just super unfair, 3 times in a row, calling my name for different questions, and somemore expect me to answer right away and scold me for taking a long time to stand up. and to others? he gave them a few minutes to find the answers first lah.. CRAP! SHIT HIM! then again, today margaret loh had to comment on me not using the table efficiently. later, i was caught by ms liao for not tucking in shirt. and i think mdm quek`s angry with me yesterday. i really feel bad lah. she was so enthu and ownself wanted so eagerly to help me, and i had to disappoint her by twisting wires. what a letdown!
i really wanna concentrate on lessons. must really try. don`t want to be observed by teachers already. i mean unnecessary attention from teachers.
artshop is out, with the help of athletic guys. HAHA! one of these days, gotta go clean and wipe it and it`s super messy somemore. i`m disappointed, so disappointed. with the sec 1s. they`ve got 1h break after school before CCA starts and because they knew that the upper secondary were supposed to report to hall, they decided to go late too. it`s like super irritating can. to see the juniors strolling up slowly when they`re LATE without a valid reason. and somemore, the people just left when ruth said they can. leaving the president and vice-president to run up and down 5 storeys each time, run round the school, ask around everywhere. it`s like everything that has to be done, we`ll be the only ones doing it. while the others have already left. now, i just hope everything goes well until the carnival is over, at least. i seriously wish that each and every member is going to produce what they`re supposed to.
peace out!
i failed once again @ 7:33:00 pm
