Saturday, August 19, 2006
BAD!
Physical Situation:
imagine having really really extremely out-of-this-world dreams about your own school when you`re sleeping. then, even before such a super long dream ended, y0u get leg cramps --- the best part being both your right & left legs get cramps together at the same time! and you start tossing & turning in bed and kicking your legs until 1 gets better and then you fail to stand because the other leg is still having a cramp. and since tuesday, you got a flu due to the heavy rain, which got worst and worst and you get fever. the fever & flu died down, you have sore throat, you feel giddy & nauseous. then the sore throat disappeared, but now, you've got a bad cough, to accompany your giddy & nauseous condition. also, even when you feel really weak in the midst of schooling, you cannot go back home because your family just cannot be there for you.
Academia:
underperforming to the worst that you probably ever can. teachers volunteerily want to help you so much so that you can perform better, and yet you firmly rejected teacher's help to make him/her angry? last few weeks of term 3 about to come, i don't want a repetition of history of what happened on the last thursday before march holidays this year. test papers are all streaming in, you see your results, you feel so damn upset, you didn't do well. you let down everyone, and disappoint yourself. you're just starting to become a procrastinator. then, you realised that term 3 is coming to an end, and it's term 4 soon, which means, your whatever examinations are really approaching. you haven't done anything that could help you improve your weakest & yet the most important subject -- english. you ask a teacher for help for a question you do not know how to solve, the teacher teaches you step-by-step & commented good, but in fact, it's the wrong answer. you have totally no clue what is happening to the world around you. you always only know how to regret when you're in the midst of the test because you realise that you could have done the paper easily if you have studied properly. you really feel helpless about your academia already, you've tried your best, put in alot of efforts, and the results aren't exactly pleasing. you feel your intelligence is just wearing off.
Family:
your father totally doesn't care about you at all, he just knows that you're a living thing. your mother seems to be a tiny bit more concerned about you than your father, but she doesn't know anything at all. every night, she shout at you to study for your CA2 even when the school you've been in for the past 3 years obviously don't have CA(s) schedules. you were touched when your mother went into your room to look at you when you were resting because she only does that when you're sick, but apparently, you found out that she don't even know you're sick.
- and other than these 3 main ones, there are still many on the list. one of which i think is pretty bad, the class problem. i think i should just close an eye to these matters. at first, the class is so united but it doesn't seem so now. many problems are surfacing already. and i don't want to comment on anything or anyone relating to these issues. what i can hope for is people don't go round backstabbing each other. it's also better to keep your valuables and revision notes safely, when term 4 is approaching, examinations are nearing.
what a bad dream! i dreamt that my mother gave me a winning lottery ticket, she told me i could claim a few hundreds with it & the money will be mine. and although i would want the money pretty much, i was sad because she's betting again.
i failed once again @ 9:31:00 am
