Saturday, November 18, 2006
its getting boring at home!
cos i'm the only living thing in it...
must do homework;
which is such a chore.
i feel weird thinking of 4/2'07 somehow.
even my geography textbook, i wrote 3/2.
there's something within that holds me back from writing 4/2.
maybe things have passed by too fast.
from the first time i stepped into this class,
and till yesterday i stepped out from the class.
it's just weird!
somehow, it still doesn't feel like a class yet.
but then, 1 year's already over.
whether you like it or not, there's only 1 more year.
i don't know how things may change next year.
but i'm just praying for the best.
there's not many days that we can still step into that particular classroom.
next year, wholly different environment & pace of learning.
i wonder if i can adapt.
as we're preparing for the next academic year at another premise, i have not much memories to bring with me. there's only this limited amount of memories which i find meaningful. the rest, shall be left in the old school building, and i shouldn't think of them anymore. it's sad there's so few things from this class this year that's worth remembering. however, it's not a surprise to me.
we are giving ourselves too many chances. we are cheating ourselves. we are coming up with the excuse "i did not want to come to this class in the first place." to account for our results. overall, the fact remains that we still do not accept coming to this class or we still cannot accept everyone involved in this class for who they are yet. it's a tragedy. we should just blame ourselves. we should be responsible for ourselves. we should help ourselves.
the hopes & expectations of being in 3/2'06 still seems as fake as ever. 1 year has passed and few of the expectations are met. it wasn't even supposed to be a 10-word sentence kinda thing, yet so many people came up with sentences lesser than 10 words. we rushed to get it done. we didn't even think at all. it's just that fake! does everyone still remember the 2 expectations & hopes they've penned down? was it achieved? or did you simply forget about it?
i see no wrong with those that demands better teachers. but that's a bit selfish. being in 1 of the best class doesn't necessarily mean we need to have 1 of the best teachers for each subject. and even at the end of the year, it's still a shame how our class did overall. i think we all just died together for the end-of-years. i can see that a portion of the class isn't even interested in lessons or teachers at all. so what's the use of getting the better teachers? it's just gonna be a waste that the teacher is teaching our class because at the end, we're just gonna fail with F9s to disappoint the teacher as much as we can.
learning economics may be 1 of the things i have never regretted by far, but coming into this class might actually be something i'm regretting.
at the beginning of the year, it was nice to see the class filled with enthusiasm for each and every lesson. but it seems some people cannot tahan it anymore, they are sleeping, chatting among themselves, laughing, disturbing others, copying homework already. we can no longer be punctual for lessons anymore. there's no enthusiasm for learning anymore. even the worse thing is people resorting to cheating just for the As. have we ever submitted our work as a class on time? when was the last time we did that? do we really deserve it when mdm quek praises us after each lesson? or do we deserve ms kokila's scoldings more? it's really a shame that we cannot learn.
everytime the class is clean, who do we have to thank? kornelius? mdm quek? mr liang lu? was there ever class spirit? what was the thing that we have done together as a class? perhaps making fun of teachers? i'm sorry if i don't participate in the class activities, because i'm already unwilling to do it. and that's why i said there's nothing much worth remembering.
i hate post-examination periods when we receive results. it's normal that everyone is excited or tensed up or scared or just praying hard. it's normal that teachers come in and announce the number of passes & failures, distinctions, and what's the highest score etc. it's normal that teachers would at least wear a smile on their face and scold us later on. but it's abnormal in our class. ms kokila just came in and nag, exactly what she did after mid-year. ms liao came in to distribute our papers without saying anything regarding the paper. mr g came in and slam the stacks of papers on the table and announced class msg for economics was 6. mr liang lu had to say we all did well for chinese only because the marker was extremely lenient. if this goes on, when the day we go back to receive our o levels results arrive, the principal will be mentioning all about the other classes and ignoring the existence of 3/2. the teachers teaching our class would have no face to show up.
failing at least 1 subject per person is a norm for our class. we no longer get the thrill of failing anymore, we are no longer worried and scared about failing. we are numb to it already. we strictly believe our brains should not be contaminated by all the unsuitable materials we are taught in school. we have no morals. we are rude to our teachers. we are racist. we make fun of people simply because we detest them. we are not responsible for our own actions. we do not care about others' feelings because it's supposed to be a world of our own. we do not know what's the meaning of punctuality. we blame others as much as possible. we lie and come up with excuses to escape from as many things as possible. it's a trait in this class.
moving on to the next year, will we be proud to be part of the first triple humanities class in singapore or will be proud that we are disappointing as many as we can?
i failed once again @ 3:42:00 pm
