Friday, December 01, 2006
WHEW! i can finally breathe in fresh air. this is the day i can finally regard as a holiday. and my definition of holiday is as simple as not having to go to school for lessons or any other mandatory stuffs. so simple, yet this is the only 1st day i don't have to go back to school. oh damn, i think i aint got a life, seriously. today, though i call it the start of holidays for me, im still not parting with schoolwork lah, but whatever, i still say its holiday, call it self-deception. GOSH! people are like having their breaks since so long ago, and me, only now. and i assure everyone everything's gonna go haywire for me on first day of school. i can only take a break away from all these piles of books and notes on 29th december. and i'll only come back on 2nd january, feeling exhausted and tired. damn! latimer told us there's english common test on first day of school, and it's most probably essays. it so directly spells my death lah. you know, i've been failing all my essays and the highest i've ever got this year was 15! and i wrote all those essays seriously. how do you expect me to write a proper essay when i'm so damn tired lah? i think i'll just screw it lah! i can't even think of a proper storyline yet, and of course i won't be able to spin a story. in fact, i hate narrative essays lah. i'm just so gonna die on the first day of school lah!
barely a month left for me to do everything that i ought to do. i dont know how im gonna do it all but i just gotta do it lah! i dont want a repeat of my secondary 2 life next year. im just so dead meat. i think i've only got 3 weeks left for me to catch up with everything, for i won't be free on most days of the last week. i think i've only got 3 weeks of what i can call holidays. and the 3 week holidays, have any idea what i'll be doing? yes, i'll be reading books, doing lots of newspaper articles, revising through the year's work, building up my resource bank, completing 4 english assessment books, practising TYS, looking through the year's worksheets. i think im gonna have such a great time lah! yeah, holidays... what the heck, im lovin' it. no, im not gonna die from stress or homework overload.
anyway, im so glad i survived through all the english remedials for the year of 2006. im her loyal remedial student, attended every single of it since the start of the year till the end of it. i cant imagine it all. the 1st remedial, she was noticing me because i was distracted by something else. till the last remedial, she was still noticing me because she thought i wasnt writing down all the things. BLAH! i didnt even pon any of her remedial or had any thoughts of pon-ing before, even though i hate english so much. and the other teachers are so surprised we're having remedials they thought it's we ownself fix with latimer.
what else can i say? holidays are just holidays. it's just a word, isnt it? why make it so complicated? especially when my vocabulary isnt strong at all, the definition of holidays is just so simple.
1st december already, haven't receive my monthly allowance yet. last night, i dreamt of my father. dream of how i wish our relationship would be better. dream of how we can be like before. dream of how we can talk more. dream of how he is such a great father. dream of how i almost cried in front of him because i was touched. but, will it really happen? last night dinner, we didnt even look at each other, let alone talk. the only thing i told him was 'i've taken a spoon for you.' haix...
my parents are such strange creatures. dont know how long ago, they decided to buy the motorcycle. now, they wanna sell it, and they're gonna make such a great loss.
yesterday, me & peifang were talking, discussing about how we're gonna be like 10 years later. i don't know if it all will happen, but i seriously hope it will really take place 10 years later. i can't imagine how it would be like if we're all separated. couz and ray have already graduated. now, we can still meet because we're not busy yet. but will our friendship be able to withstand the test of time? will we just forget each other soon enough? what's gonna happen to each of us? we all still do not have the answer to it right now. i can only hope for the best that can happen for us. the only comforting thing is that all our parents want us to be in the same occupation. it's weird how all our parents all think alike even though they do not know each other. the only thing that came across my mind is that we can kill 2 birds with 1 stone. we can listen to our parents and get into that occupation, then we can remain friends forever too. but are things that smooth-sailing and simple?
i really wonder why do our teachers choose to be teachers? is it because of their parents? or is it just because of the pay & working hours? im so jealous how they used to be senior & junior in secondary school, and now, they are working together. the only thing is that, maybe they didn't know each other in secondary school? i have no idea about it. but to think of it, im abit jealous how they can remain so good friends. and those that graduated from NIE from the same batch, can remain so good too. sometimes, i wonder, did they ever have a conflict before? it seems as though their friendship is so strong it won't ever be forgotten.
i prefer to have lesser friends, but to whom im closer with. because i hate separation. what's the use of having millions of friends? it's a sure thing that you won't be together forever, unless you're like the king or president or a millionaire. ever since graduating from primary school, i've lost in touch with most primary school friends already. we don't even chat on MSN. there's only 1 guy who was on MSN with me recently. and he has changed so much! all those things he told me, i really have no clue how he became that way. initially, he wanted to come to commonwealth too. if he had come here, would things have been different? even my primary school bestfriend, we don't talk much when we meet on the streets. we've changed to become just mere hi&bye friends already.
10 year down the road...
no one can foresee the future yet.
let's just work hard, and get what we want.
that's the most we can aim for.
i failed once again @ 11:42:00 am
