Sunday, March 04, 2007
i somehow think that what i did isnt really right.
and its bothering me...
im like so scared of her now.
there's a million things in my mind.
and i suppose majority of the students dont know how to get to that stupid moe place for games day too!
its 10pm already.
& i havent go revise emath test.
neither have i done homework.
my health's been controlling me.
im sneezing so often nowadays compared to last year.
might be due to my poor eating habits.
i rarely take full meals now...
even dinner, i only have the appetite to eat like 1 egg.
just dont feel like eating.
i keep thinking that O levels is still a long way to go.
as if to deceive myself. or just to comfort myself.
i try not to think about post-secondary options.
but as unavoidable an issue as it is, people do ask.
realise im listening to radio late night again.
back to the old habits.
just trying to soothe myself.
i have an uncertain future.
i dont specialise in anything.
sometimes, i feel like i've lost interest in school.
& that explains the poor performance.
since school started, i've felt that way many times.
i feel left out, i feel alone, i feel i belong nowhere.
there are days i ponder about where to go after school.
just to forget the troubles temporarily, i laugh them away during lessons.
there are adverse consequences to it.
i may be present in class, but my soul isnt there at all.
feeling very bad.
i remember mr G once said "the key to do well for economics is to be present in class. it doesnt mean just sitting in class, it means that your soul is in the class." i think it applies to all subjects. if you have no heart in something, of course you'll not do well. it sorta makes sense. maybe this shall be my motivation to work hard.
i feel guilty to be slacking right now.
i failed once again @ 9:59:00 pm
