Friday, May 27, 2005
okay now i come post. today woke up at 8plus. then cleaned up and ate. after that wondered around the house and went ironing my uniform. yeah, just for school. then off i went to school. was walking slowly since i wasn't looking forward to it anyway. yeah, then suddenly saw peifang at the gallery outside there. hahas. somehow that motivated me to walk faster. but i don't know why. i feel so strange. feel like i can't blend in. people were carrying their report books, chit-chatting away, and laughing. treasuring the last day of school. but i was feeling nothing. i don't feel anything. and peifang kept talking to me about giraffes. saying they had been absent in the zoo for 11years i think. and saying that giraffes are back in the zoo. i don't know why. i feel so down today. but anyway, after the stupid thing which was held in the hall, i went home straight. haiz. i have no mood to go to the food fair`05 at all. i don't feel like going. i don't wanna squeeze in the dark canteen. i wanted to be left alone. i feel so left out. i guess many would be celebrating now. but i feel like crying. i know i didn't do well. but why is people saying i've done well. haix. but i know for myself that i haven't done well. there really is room for improvement. but i don't know what i've been doing this past few months. hais. tomorrow is gonna be a bad day for me maybe. but i hope it turns out good. i hope what you guys said would turn out true, only if a miracle would come true and i could get good grades. why, why must you all think highly of me? i might let you all down. haix. i think i'll just wait for the results to be out tomorrow. but somehow, i have a hunch that my results aren't good. im not even nervous or excited or what. i feel normal but out of place. but anyway, i just hope a miracle will happen. Pray God please.
i failed once again @ 2:37:00 pm
