Tuesday, May 17, 2005
resumed normal school hours. no idea if it's great. lessons pushed up 1hr that is 2 periods. yeah, ms sri wasn't informed, i guess. and we sat there wasting time once again. science came. before i post the rest, i just wanna say to all those who knows of the existence of my blog: Please don't ask me stupid questions like how much did you get? and whatever that's irrelevant. i just wanna concentrate on studies. don't come bothering me. and yeah, my SIM card has only $4.22 left. SMS me all you want but i may not reply or even bother to see your messages. only if i think it's urgent then i may reply. yeah okaes. think this is it. got back our science paper. 24/30 for MCQ. i thought it was great. well, for my capability. but bad news came simultaneously after this. 24/40 for B and 16.5/30 for C. yeah, afterall, what's that excitement for? i shouldn't have been so happy afterall. what's so good for me to be happy about? a B4 for science MYE? that's just not it. anyway, i bet it's gonna affect alot in my SA results slip. yeah yeah, 90 for CA. 64.5 for SA. my mother go meet-the-parents session let's see what ms lim gotta say about it. what the heck have i been doing man? oh god. 25.5! great. i just gotta improve. recess. english. what can i say? i thought my only problem with english was paper 1. but i was wrong, really wrong. ah, think my father's gonna get a english tuition teacher for me soon. 15/30 for letter writing. it has never been this bad. there's just gotta be something wrong with me. 36/65 for paper 2 excluding summary. 9 for comprehension cloze and 3 for synthesis. it's really that bad. i just have to believe it. nothing can be done to change it. 9 for comprehension cloze! the worse in my life so far. normally i would get like at least 14 or 15. and 3 for synthesis! maybe a 4 or 5 will do. im just so sad. even with the summary, i can only get 51 for maximum that is. but it's not easy to ace summary. 56/80 for SA2 english paper 2 last year. that's how life went for me. things get worse and worst. but it's not like i slacked. ask around me, at least 75% will say i didn't slack. it's just my capability, i guess. geography. maybe that would be better. but in the end, i still got a B4. 63.5/100 lucky for me that's the last geography paper this year, or i guess very soon i will be failing it. maths! i thought this was the paper where i would be doing better. but sadly, the results still disappoints me. don't go around thinking that 78 is good. that may be good for you, but it's a totally different thing for me. i need at least 80. that's my aim. out of the 4 paper we got back, i've only scored 1 A1 and 2 B4 and 1 unknown. that's really gonna affect me tons. alot! afterall, my last hope left is mother tongue. and i really and seriously do hope to get an A1 for the paper. i'm just so disheartened. at least when i got back the diagnostic paper, Mr G said it was quite well done considering the fact that we've not been taught and told us not to be disheartened. but now, it's the MYE. this kinda results. can i be happy? never can i be happy until i get streamed to triple science. haiz, the most i can do right now is to fake a smile. fake it! but i really don't want to be forced to put on a fake smile. there's nothing that i'm happy about. the more i think about it, the more i wanna cry. it's not like i'm scared or what, but i really am hurt by these kinda crap results.
i failed once again @ 2:02:00 pm
